150 Best Cruise Puns and Jokes: Get Ready to Ship Your Pants Laughing

Ready to set sail for laughter? If you’re a fan of smooth waters and even smoother wordplay, you’ve come to the right port! Get ready to dive into a sea of hilarious cruise puns and jokes that are guaranteed to make you crack a smile, even if you’re not on vacation.

We’ve scoured the depths of the internet (and maybe even a few cruise ship buffets) to bring you the best nautical nonsense around. From ship-tastic one-liners to ocean-themed humor, prepare for a tidal wave of giggles.

So, grab your life vest (of laughter!) and let’s embark on this pun-filled adventure. Trust us, these jokes are shore to please!

Best Cruise Puns and Jokes: Get Ready to Ship Your Pants Laughing

• What do you call a cruise ship that’s always late? A procrastin-ocean liner.
• I tried to write a book about my cruise, but I kept getting ship-wrecked with writer’s block.
• Why did the sailboat break up with the cruise ship? It said they had too many baggage handlers.
• Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything, especially on a cruise buffet.
• My friend told me he was going on a cruise to find himself; I said, “Good luck, they’re really crowded.”
• A cruise ship walks into a bar, the bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.” The ship replies, “Well, this is a port of call, isn’t it?”
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down, just like the cruise ship’s anchor.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite mode of transportation? A C-RUISE! (Get it?)
• I asked the cruise director if there were any singles events. He said, “All of our events are singles events, unless you brought a partner… or a family.”
• The cruise ship’s chef got fired for using too much thyme. He just couldn’t stop seasoning the ocean.
• I used to hate cruises, but then I took one. Now I’m indifferent, I guess you could say I’m in-sea-d.
• Why did the cruise ship go to therapy? It had a lot of emotional baggage.
• What’s the best way to communicate on a cruise ship? Shore-ly, you can use a phone.
• On the cruise, I tried to make a joke about the iceberg, but it fell flat. Too cold, I guess.
• My therapist suggested I try a cruise to relax, but now I’m just stressed about choosing between the pool and the buffet.

Sailing into Laughter: Cruise Puns Ahoy!

• I tried to start a cruise-themed book club, but it kept getting bogged down with nautical novels.
• My cruise ship is feeling a bit blue, I think it needs a good sea-nic drive to cheer it up.
• What do you call a cruise ship that’s always getting into trouble? A real ship-ster, always causing a wave of chaos.
• I asked the cruise director if he knew any good jokes, he said, “I have a whole deck full of them!”
• The cruise ship was a terrible artist; all its drawings looked a little sea-sick.
• My suitcase is going through a mid-life crisis, it keeps calling itself a “traveling companion with a penchant for exotic destinations.”
• I tried to teach my luggage to meditate, but it just kept zoning out in the baggage claim.
• My cruise ship has a real sweet tooth, it always wants to take a detour to the dessert island.
• I’m not saying my cruise is slow, but we’re passing through different geological time periods.
• This cruise is so long, I think I’m going to need a sea-habilitation center by the end.
• I tried to write a song about my cruise, but I kept getting ship-wrecked with writer’s block and a lot of sea-notes.
• The cruise ship was a real gossip, always had the latest deck-tails.
• My cruise ship is a terrible comedian, all its jokes are a bit too… sea-ly.
• I saw a cruise ship wearing a toupee, it looked really sea-nic.
• I’m on a roll with these cruise puns, I’m shore I’ll make you laugh.

Decked Out in Humor: Cruise Jokes for Everyone

Ready to set sail with laughter? “Decked Out in Humor” is your treasure map to cruise jokes! From cheesy puns to hilarious scenarios, this collection is a guaranteed giggle-fest for everyone. Whether you’re a seasoned cruiser or a landlubber dreaming of the sea, prepare for waves of witty wordplay. Get…

• Why did the cruise ship hire a detective? It had a case of missing anchors.
• My suitcase told me it was tired of being carried around, it wanted to go on a cruise by itself.
• I tried to teach my cruise ship to do yoga, but it just kept doing the downward doggy-paddle.
• What do you call a cruise ship that’s always telling jokes? A real laugh-liner.
• I booked a cruise for my dog, hoping he’d finally learn to relax, but now he’s just barking at the seagulls and demanding a bigger bed.
• The cruise ship was feeling philosophical, it was pondering the meaning of ‘to sail or not to sail’.
• I tried to write a song about my cruise, but I kept getting lost in the waves of melody.
• Why did the cruise ship get a new chef? It needed someone who could handle the pressure of the galley.
• My cruise ship is such a drama queen, it always makes a big splash when it arrives at a new port.
• I asked the cruise director if he knew any good jokes, he said, “I have a whole deck full of them, but they’re all a little sea-soned.”
• What’s a cruise ship’s favorite type of movie? Anything with a good plot twist, especially if it involves a hidden treasure or a rogue wave.
• My cruise ship’s favorite game is hide and seek, but it’s terrible at it, it always ends up in the middle of the ocean.
• My cruise ship is a terrible artist; all its drawings end up looking like abstract waves and seagulls.
• Why did the cruise ship go to therapy? It had too much emotional baggage, and it was feeling a little adrift.
• I tried to start a cruise ship-themed book club, but it kept getting bogged down with nautical novels and endless discussions about the best way to tie a knot.

Shore Thing Funny: Cruise Puns About Destinations

Ready to set sail with laughter? “Shore Thing Funny” is your treasure chest of cruise puns, specifically crafted around destinations. From “Rome-ing” around Italy to “Baha-mazing” Bahamas jokes, get ready for puns so good, they’ll have you hooked like a marlin. Perfect for sharing on deck or with your travel…

• I’m feeling ship-shape after our stop in the Bahamas, it’s a real port of paradise.
• I’m having a whale of a time exploring the Alaskan coast, it’s truly a glacier-ous experience.
• Our visit to the Caribbean was truly a-maze-ing, the beaches were so idyllic.
• I’m in a state of bliss after our stop in the Mediterranean, it’s a real Grecian formula for relaxation.
• I’m feeling very grounded after our visit to the Galapagos Islands, the wildlife is truly captivating.
• I’m feeling the love in Venice, it’s a real gondola-ble experience.
• Our stop in Norway was fjord-tastic, the landscapes were breathtaking.
• I’m feeling the rhythm after our visit to Cuba, it’s a real salsa-bration.
• Our time in Hawaii was a real luau-t of fun, the islands are truly magical.
• I’m feeling refreshed after our stop in the fjords, it’s a real scenic route.
• I’m shore this is the best vacation I’ve ever had, after our trip to the Greek Islands.
• Our stop in the Panama Canal was a real passage to discovery, it’s a real canal-do attitude.
• I’m feeling cultured after our stop in Rome, it’s a real history lesson on wheels.
• Our visit to the Amalfi Coast was a real cliff-hanger of beauty, it’s a stunning coastline.
• I’m feeling the vibe after our stop in Jamaica, it’s a real irie-sistible destination.

Ocean of Laughs: Cruise Jokes That Will Make Waves

Ready to set sail on a sea of giggles? “Ocean of Laughs” dives deep into the world of cruise puns and jokes, offering a wave of humor that’ll have you chuckling from port to starboard. Forget seasickness, this collection guarantees smooth sailing through witty wordplay, perfect for any cruise enthusiast…

• I tried to write a song about my cruise, but it kept getting lost in the sea of lyrics, and I could never seem to find the right tempo.
• Our cruise ship is so fancy, it has a butler for the lifeboats, and a sommelier for the bottled water.
• What do you call a cruise ship that’s always worried? A real nervous vessel.
• My suitcase is so dramatic, it always makes a big scene at baggage claim.
• The cruise ship was feeling very artistic, it started leaving abstract wake patterns in the ocean, a real masterpiece on water.
• I tried to have a serious conversation with my cruise ship, but it just kept changing the subject to its next port of call.
• Why did the cruise ship hire a comedian? It needed someone to break the ice.
• I’m not saying our cruise is slow, but the barnacles are starting to grow on the hull, and the seagulls are starting to build nests on the deck.
• Our cruise director is so bad at his job, he keeps mixing up the port and starboard sides, and he keeps getting lost in the hallway.
• I tried to start a book club on the cruise, but it kept getting bogged down with nautical novels and endless discussions about the best way to tie a knot.
• The cruise ship’s New Year’s resolution was to finally find a good parking spot in the ocean.
• I asked the cruise ship if it was tired, it said, “I’m just feeling a little sea-sick, maybe I should take a break from all the wave action”.
• I’m on a roll with these cruise puns, I’m shore I’ll make you laugh, and it’s always smooth sailing.
• What do you call a cruise ship that’s always getting into trouble? A real ship-disturber, with a knack for causing a wave of chaos.
• I tried to make a sandwich on the cruise, but it was too much of a high-sea undertaking, and it ended up getting lost in the buffet.

Knot Your Average Humor: Cruise Puns and Wordplay

Get ready to set sail with “Knot Your Average Humor”! This collection of cruise puns and wordplay is a treasure chest of laughs. From “shore-ly” funny quips to ocean-themed jokes, it’s a voyage into the lighter side of cruising. Prepare for some waves of humor that will have you saying,…

• My suitcase is having a real identity crisis, it thinks it’s a ‘carry-on’ comedian.
• I tried to have a serious conversation with the ship’s anchor, but it just kept dropping the subject.
• The cruise director was a terrible comedian, all his jokes were a bit too… *deck*-adent.
• I asked the ocean liner if it was tired, it said, “I’m just feeling a little *sea*-sick of these long voyages.”
• I’m not saying our cruise is slow, but the seagulls are starting to ask for frequent flyer miles.
• My cruise ship is such a drama queen, it always makes a big scene when it docks, complete with a dramatic horn blast.
• I tried to write a song about my cruise, but it kept getting lost in the *waves* of melody.
• What do you call a cruise ship that’s always telling secrets? A real *leak*-y vessel.
• The ship’s compass was feeling insecure, it thought it wasn’t pointing in the right direction.
• Our cruise ship’s Wi-Fi is so bad, it’s a real *sea* of frustration, and it’s always dropping the connection.
• The captain was terrible at hide-and-seek, he was always in plain sight, a real *show-boat*.
• I booked a cruise for a therapy session, but it just kept drifting away from the point.
• My cruise ship is a terrible matchmaker, it always pairs people up with the wrong deck chairs, and then they end up getting sea-sick.
• The cruise buffet was so good, it was a real *sea*-son of plenty, and I was always going back for more.
• I tried to have a serious conversation with the life raft, but it just kept floating away from the point, a real *adrift* moment.

Cabin Fever Funny: Cruise Jokes to Beat Boredom

Stuck inside? “Cabin Fever Funny” is your life raft! This book, part of the “Cruise Puns and Jokes” series, is packed with hilarious cruise-themed humor to combat boredom. From silly sea shanties to witty wave puns, it’s the perfect antidote to feeling cooped up. Get ready for some nautical nonsense!

• My cruise ship’s favorite game is ‘deck’ the halls, but it always ends up a little overboard.
• I tried to have a serious conversation with my cruise ship, but it just kept changing the subject to the next port of call, it was a real *sea* of distraction.
• What do you call a cruise ship that’s always stressed? A real *nervous vessel* with a lot of *sea-t* of the pants decisions.
• The cruise director was a terrible baker; all his cakes were a bit too *ship-shape* and never had a good *dock-oration*.
• I asked my suitcase if it was excited for the cruise, it said, “I’m just trying to *pack* my excitement”.
• The cruise ship was feeling very theatrical; it was putting on a full-blown Broadway show, but everyone kept getting sea-sick during the big dance numbers.
• I’m not saying our cruise is slow, but the barnacles are starting to grow beards.
• I tried to start a book club on the cruise, but it kept getting bogged down with sea-rious discussions about the best way to tie a knot, and the best way to navigate the *sea* of knowledge.
• What do you call a cruise ship that’s always getting into trouble? A real *sea-n* of chaos, it always makes a splash.
• My cruise ship is a terrible comedian, all its jokes are a bit too *sea-nical* and never really *land* well.
• I booked a cruise to find myself, but all I found was a lot of all-you-can-eat buffets and a new appreciation for sunscreen, it was a real *sea*-tuation of self-discovery.
• The cruise ship’s compass was feeling insecure, it thought it wasn’t pointing in the right direction and always getting lost in the *sea* of possibilities.
• I tried to make a joke about the cruise ship, but it just didn’t float.
• The cruise director was a terrible artist, all his drawings looked a little *sea*-sick and always ended up in the water.
• Our cruise ship is so fancy, it has a butler for the lifeboats, and a sommelier for the bottled water, and a masseuse for the deck chairs.

Port of Call Chuckles: Cruise Puns About Shore Excursions

Ready to set sail for laughter? “Port of Call Chuckles” dives into the hilarious side of shore excursions. This collection is a treasure chest of cruise puns, perfect for sharing on deck or at the dinner table. Get ready for some rib-tickling humor that’ll make every port a party!

• I tried to visit a local market on my cruise, but I just couldn’t find my *berth* of the action.
• Our shore excursion was a real *sea*-nic route, with so many breathtaking views.
• The snorkeling trip was a bit *fishy*, I think I saw a mermaid, or maybe it was just the sun.
• I went on a guided tour of the island, but I think the guide was just making it all up, it was a real *port*-ent of things to come.
• The local food tour was a real *galley* of delights, with so many exotic flavors.
• I tried to buy a souvenir, but the prices were a bit *ship*-shape, and I couldn’t afford it.
• The beach was so crowded, it felt like I was in a *sea* of people.
• Our hike to the waterfall was a real *cliff*-hanger of an adventure.
• I went to a luau on shore, and it was a real *sea*-lebration of culture, with so many vibrant colors.
• The kayaking trip was a real *oar*-some experience, and I felt like I was one with the water.
• I tried to learn to surf, but I just kept wiping out, it was a real *wave* of disappointment.
• The shopping trip was a bit of a *berth*-day splurge, and I came home with a lot of new treasures.
• The sunset viewing was a real *port*-rait of beauty and tranquility.
• The jungle trek was a bit *treacherous*, with so many winding paths, and unexpected turns.
• Our cooking class on shore was a real *galley* of fun, and I learned some new recipes.

Seas the Day with Laughter: The Best Cruise Jokes

Ready to set sail for some serious chuckles? “Seas the Day with Laughter” is your treasure map to the best cruise jokes. From deck chair dilemmas to buffet blunders, this collection of cruise puns and jokes will have you laughing harder than a seagull chasing a french fry. Get ready…

• Our cruise ship’s library is so big, it has a whole chapter dedicated to nautical knots, and a section on how to navigate a sea of knowledge, and it always has a good book to *anchor* your thoughts.
• I tried to have a serious conversation with my luggage, but it just kept packing in the jokes, and rolling away with laughter, and it never seemed to take anything seriously.
• My suitcase is a terrible comedian; it always has a lot of baggage, but its punchlines never quite land, and it always leaves me in stitches, and then rolling away.
• The ship’s doctor said I was a bit seasick, but I think I’m just having a little *wave* of nausea.
• The cruise ship’s gym is so intense, it has a whole section dedicated to *oar*-obic exercises, and a rowing machine that takes you on a virtual tour of the ocean, and it always has a good *current* of energy.
• I’m not saying our cruise ship is slow, but the seagulls are starting to ask for frequent flyer miles, and the barnacles are starting to grow beards.
• I tried to start a book club on the cruise, but it kept getting bogged down with nautical novels and endless discussions about the best way to tie a knot, and the best way to navigate the *sea* of knowledge.
• The ship’s band was terrible; all their songs were just a series of *sea* shanties, and they never seemed to find the right *tempo* and *beat*.
• My cruise ship is a terrible matchmaker; it always pairs people up with the wrong deck chairs, and then they end up getting sea-sick.
• The ship’s chef is a real culinary pirate; he always has a treasure trove of flavors, and he always seems to *plunder* the best ingredients, and he always makes sure to add a little *sea*soning of excitement.
• I tried to write a love letter on the cruise, but it got lost at *sea*, and it was just a real *drift* of emotions.
• I’m feeling quite *buoyant* after a week at sea, it’s a real *float* of happiness.
• The cruise director was a terrible comedian; all his jokes were a bit too *deck*-adent and never seemed to *land* well.
• I tried to learn to sail, but I just kept going in circles; I guess you could say I was a real boat-a-tater, and I never seemed to find the right *direction*.
• I told my friend to stop being so *stern*, but he just couldn’t *port* the point.