150 Best DnD Monster Puns and Jokes That Will Slay You

Ready to roll a natural 20 on laughter? If you’re a Dungeons and Dragons enthusiast, you know the game isn’t just about epic battles and saving the realm; it’s also about the puns! Get ready for a collection of groan-worthy, chuckle-inducing DnD monster puns and jokes that will have your gaming group rolling with amusement.

From beholders with bad eyesight to goblins with even worse jokes, we’ve gathered the best (and worst) the D&D universe has to offer. Prepare to be entertained, and maybe even inspired, by these hilarious monster-themed quips.

Best DnD Monster Puns and Jokes That Will Slay You

• What do you call a lazy beholder? A see-er-nothing.
• I tried to start a band with a group of goblins, but they kept dropping all their instruments. I guess you could say it was a real goblin’ drop-off.
• Why did the Gelatinous Cube break up with the Mimic? He said she was too clingy.
• A dragon walks into a bar, orders a drink, and then complains about the service. The bartender says, “Hey, I’m doing my best, I’m no fire-breather!”
• My friend said he was afraid of the Mind Flayer, but I told him not to worry, it’s just mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
• What’s a zombie’s favorite drink? Re-freshments!
• A group of adventurers were facing a Medusa. One of them shouted, “Let’s hope we don’t get petrified!” The other responded, “I’m sure we’ll stone through this.”
• You shouldn’t trust a Displacer Beast, they’re always trying to get away with something.
• Why did the owlbear refuse to play cards? Because he was afraid of getting a bad hand.
• I told the party we should be wary of the rust monster. They all thought I was being too corroded.
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone.
• I saw a basilisk trying to sell used cars. I told him, “You’re clearly trying to make a deal that’s stone cold!”
• A necromancer walked into a library. He asked, “Do you have any books on raising the dead?” The librarian replied, “They’re all out-standing.”
• The rogue tried to pickpocket the ogre, but he was too clumsy. He said, “Well, that was a giant mistake!”
• My friend said he was going to try and tame a basilisk. I told him, “Good luck, hope you have the stony determination!”

DnD Monster Puns: A Hilarious Bestiary

Looking for a laugh between dragon battles? “DnD Monster Puns: A Hilarious Bestiary” is your go-to guide! This book is packed with groan-worthy wordplay and silly jokes featuring all your favorite D&D monsters. Prepare for a dungeon master’s delight and maybe even a few eye-rolls from your party!

• I tried to reason with a rust monster about the value of antiques, but it just wasn’t a very *metal* debate.
• My character tried to teach a gelatinous cube how to play hide and seek, but it was just too *transparent* with its hiding places.
• What do you call a mimic that’s also a talented chef? A *form*-idable culinary artist, always whipping up surprises.
• The gnoll’s attempts at interior decorating were always a bit *gnaw*-ty, and involved a lot of bones.
• My warlock’s pact with a sentient pair of spectacles was a real *eye*-opening experience, but also a bit blurry.
• I told a mind flayer a joke, but he just stared blankly. I guess it was too *illithid*-ing for him.
• The displacer beast was always trying to get out of chores, it was a real *phase*-ing problem in our household.
• A basilisk walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind.” The basilisk replied, “Well, that’s just *stony*.”
• My party tried to have a serious discussion with a beholder, but it was a real *many*-sided conversation with lots of different viewpoints.
• What do you call a gelatinous cube with a great sense of style? A *fluid* fashion icon, always ready to adapt to the latest trends.
• The owlbear’s attempts to be stealthy were always a bit *hoot*-less and clumsy.
• I asked the rust monster for a loan, but he said he preferred to work in *metal*-cash.
• The mind flayer opened a dating app, but all his matches were a bit too *brainy* for him.
• My party tried to have a potluck with a gelatinous cube, but it just ended up *absorbing* everything.
• What do you call a mimic who’s also a comedian? A real *chest*-nut of a performer, always changing his act.

Laughing at the Lich: Jokes About Undead

Exploring “Laughing at the Lich” in DnD monster puns? It’s all about finding humor in the macabre! Think bone-tickling skeleton puns or jokes about liches losing their phylacteries. These undead jokes offer a lighthearted break from the serious adventuring, proving even the most fearsome monsters can be a source of…

• My necromancer’s dating profile just says “Looking for someone with a good skeleton.”
• The mummy was a terrible rapper, all his bars were a bit dusty.
• What do you call a skeleton who is also a comedian? Bone-afide hilarious.
• That zombie’s sense of direction is truly appalling, he’s always going in the wrong *rot*-ation.
• I tried to give the ghost a gift, but it just went right *through* him.
• The vampire was always so dramatic, he really knew how to make an *entrance* even when he was already there.
• The lich’s favorite subject in school was *un-de-writing* history.
• My ghoul friend always complains about how he feels, he has a real *grave* outlook on life.
• The skeleton kept trying to play the drums, but his timing was a bit *off-beat*.
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite drink? Anything with a good *body*.
• That wraith was always so elusive, it was a real *spirit*-ed challenge to catch him.
• My zombie character is so slow, he’s always a step behind, it’s a *dead* giveaway.
• The skeleton musician only played *bone*-afide hits, and he always had a good *re-bone-ance*.
• The vampire’s jokes were always a bit of a *pain* in the neck, but we still laughed at them.
• I tried to have a serious conversation with a ghost, but he just kept *dematerializing* the point.

Goblin Giggles: Funny DnD Monster Moments

Ever rolled a nat 1 against a gelatinous cube? Then you’ll love ‘Goblin Giggles’! This collection of D&D monster puns and jokes explores the lighter side of dungeon crawling. Imagine a mimic doing stand-up or a beholder telling eye-rolling jokes. It’s a hilarious dive into the absurdities of our favorite…

• The Mind Flayer opened a restaurant, but the menu was a bit too *brainy* for most.
• My character tried to reason with a rust monster, but it was a *corroding* influence on my sanity.
• The Medusa’s dating profile just said “Looking for someone with a *stony* heart.”
• What do you call a Gelatinous Cube that’s also a talented chef? A *jelly*-good cook.
• The owlbear was trying to be stealthy, but it was a *hoot*-less endeavor.
• Why did the basilisk get a job as a security guard? He had a *petrifying* stare.
• The vampire was always so dramatic; he really knew how to make an *entrance*, even when he was already there.
• My character tried to have a serious conversation with a displacer beast, but it just kept *shifting* the subject.
• What do you call a zombie who is also a librarian? A *tome*-b.
• I asked the ghost for his opinion on the situation, but he just gave me a very *spirited* response, and then disappeared.
• The gnoll tried to give me advice, but it was all just *gnaw-sense*.
• Why did the mimic get fired from the museum? It kept *imitating* the exhibits, and also eating them.
• The dragon’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good *scale* and a lot of fire.
• What do you call a skeleton who’s always telling jokes? A *bone*-afide comedian.
• The beholder opened a bakery, but all the pastries were a bit too *eye-catching*, and also staring.

Dragon Dad Jokes: Puns That Will Burn You Up

Ever wondered what happens when a dragon tries stand-up? “Dragon Dad Jokes: Puns That Will Burn You Up” dives into exactly that. It’s a fiery collection of jokes, playing on everything from scales to fire breath, making it a perfect addition to any DnD Monster Puns and Jokes repertoire. Get…

• My dragonborn paladin’s oath is to always uphold justice, and also to hoard all the best spicy snacks; it’s a *hoard*-ly righteous calling.
• Why did the dragon get a job as a librarian? He loved to *scale* the shelves for the most ancient tomes.
• I told the dragon his breath was bad. He said, “It’s not bad, it’s a *flame*-tastic aroma!”
• My silver dragon only eats polished silverware; he’s got a real *taste* for shiny things, and a very expensive diet.
• The red dragon was feeling insecure about his size, so he started lifting *scale* weights.
• What do you call a dragon who’s also a therapist? An *inner fire* starter, always helping you explore your deepest emotions.
• The young dragon was having trouble with his scales, he said it was a real *scale*-p problem.
• Why did the dragon refuse to play cards? He said he always had a *full house*, and it wasn’t fair.
• My dragonborn’s new song was so catchy, it was a real *scale*-tipping hit.
• The blue dragon was having a bad day, he said his mood was *sky*-rocketing towards the ground, but in a sad way.
• What’s a dragon’s favorite type of sandwich? A *club* sandwich with extra scales and a side of roasted knights, and a side of extra fire.
• I tried to teach my dragon to play chess, but he kept trying to use his breath weapon to “checkmate” the pieces, a fiery approach, to say the least.
• The dragon was trying to be a fashion designer, but his designs were a little too *scale*-y for most people.
• The dragon decided to start a book club, but he only read *tail*-s of adventure and treasure.
• My bronze dragon is a real social butterfly; he loves to mingle and *bronze* up the room with his shiny personality.

Beholder Banter: Eye See What You Did There

“Beholder Banter: Eye See What You Did There” is a hilarious dive into the pun-tastic side of D&D’s most iconic floating eyeball. This book is a treasure trove of jokes and one-liners, perfect for anyone who enjoys a good laugh at the expense of beholder’s many eyes. Expect plenty of…

• My beholder character is a stand-up comedian, but his jokes always have a lot of *layers*.
• A beholder tried to join the circus, but his act was a little too *eye-conic* for the audience.
• What do you call a beholder who is a terrible gambler? A bad *bet-eye*.
• The beholder was always the most *focused* student in class, literally.
• My beholder’s dating profile just says, “Looking for someone who can see things from my *point of view*… or ten.”
• I tried to give a beholder a compliment, but he just stared at me with all his eyes, I guess it was just too *eye-ronic*.
• The beholder decided to start a photography business, he had a real *eye* for capturing moments.
• What do you call a beholder that is also a talented chef? A *many-faceted* flavor expert.
• The beholder was always so good at giving advice, he had a real *eye* for solutions and was always willing to share them.
• Why did the beholder get a job as a librarian? Because he had a real *eye* for detail and organizing things.
• My beholder character is an art critic, he always has a critical *eye* for detail, and a unique perspective.
• The beholder decided to start a book club, but everyone felt a little *judged* by his gaze.
• What do you call a beholder that’s always getting into arguments? A real *eye-rate* debater, never backing down from a challenge.
• A beholder walks into a bar and says, “I’ll take a drink, but make it something with a lot of *depth*.”
• The beholder was trying to write a screenplay, but he had trouble deciding on just one *perspective*.

Mind Flayer Mirth: Jokes That Will Enslave Your Funny Bone

Ever wondered what tickles a tentacled tyrant? “Mind Flayer Mirth” delves into the bizarre humor of D&D’s illithids, offering puns so brain-bending they might just enslave your funny bone! Prepare for jokes about intellect devourers and psionic powers, all guaranteed to leave you laughing… or perhaps mind-controlled. It’s a truly…

• I tried to have a serious conversation with a mind flayer, but it just kept trying to *probe* my thoughts.
• What do you call a mind flayer who’s always running late? A *tentacle*-tardy individual.
• My mind flayer character is always trying to get ahead; he’s got a real *cerebral* ambition.
• The mind flayer was trying to be a chef, but his recipes were a little too *brainy* for my taste.
• The mind flayer’s new dating profile just said, “Looking for someone with a good *mind* to share… or consume”.
• I heard a mind flayer opened a library; it’s a real *mind* bending collection of knowledge.
• Why did the mind flayer get fired from the bakery? Because he kept taking the *dough*… from people’s minds.
• I asked a mind flayer about his favorite type of music, he replied “Anything with a good *brain*-wave rhythm.”
• The mind flayer tried to start a stand-up routine, but all his jokes were a little too *cerebral* and nobody got them.
• What do you call a mind flayer who’s a terrible comedian? A real *mind*-numbing performer.
• My mind flayer’s favorite subject in school was *psych*-ology, and also eating brains.
• The mind flayer was always so good at solving puzzles, he had a real *mind* for complex challenges.
• I tried to play hide-and-seek with a mind flayer, but it was impossible to hide my thoughts from him.
• Why did the mind flayer get a parking ticket? He left his illithid-mobile in a no-thought zone.
• The mind flayer’s new self-help book is titled “How to *Mind* Your Own Business (and also other people’s)”.

Tarrasque Tickles: When Colossal Monsters Are Comical

Ever wondered if a Tarrasque could be tickled? “Tarrasque Tickles” dives into the absurd, imagining these colossal beasts in comical situations. It’s where DnD’s most terrifying monsters become the punchline. Think beholder puns or dragon dad jokes – this theme explores the lighter side of lurking horrors, offering a welcome…

• I tried to reason with the Tarrasque, but it just wasn’t *listening* to my arguments, it just wanted to smash things.
• The Tarrasque’s therapist told him he had a lot of *pent-up* rage, and maybe some scale issues.
• What do you call a Tarrasque that’s also a gardener? A *terra*-forming terror.
• The Tarrasque’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good *earth*-shattering beat.
• The Tarrasque was always late to meetings; he said he had trouble *keeping time* when he was busy destroying cities.
• I asked the Tarrasque if it could help me move, but it said, “I only do *large*-scale projects”.
• The Tarrasque was trying to be a comedian, but all his jokes were a bit *destructive* and fell flat.
• What’s a Tarrasque’s favorite type of art? Anything with a good *smash* of color.
• The Tarrasque applied for a job as a demolition expert; he said he had a *smashing* resume.
• The Tarrasque tried to write a love letter, but it was a *rampage* of emotions, mostly just a lot of grunts and smashed words.
• I tried to give the Tarrasque a gift, but it just wasn’t *receiving* it well, it just kept stomping on it.
• The Tarrasque was always so direct, he never *beat* around the bush, he just smashed it.
• Why did the Tarrasque get a bad grade in history? He kept trying to rewrite it with his *claws*, and that wasn’t very historically accurate.
• The Tarrasque was feeling down, he said his mood was *earth*-shattering bad.
• The Tarrasque’s favorite type of puzzle? Anything he can solve with brute force, and a lot of smashing.

Monster Manual Mayhem: The Best DnD Puns and Jokes

Ready to slay some laughs? “Monster Manual Mayhem” is your treasure chest of DnD monster puns and jokes. From beholder-ing beauty to gelatinous cube-ical humor, it’s a critical hit for any tabletop group. Prepare for groans, giggles, and maybe even a few inspiration dice for sheer pun-tastic brilliance.

• My character tried to reason with a gorgon, but it was a *stony* silence after that.
• The rust monster was always so hungry, it had a real *metal* appetite.
• The vampire’s dating profile just said, “Looking for someone with a good neck.”
• The owlbear was always so confused, it had a real *hoot* of a time figuring things out.
• My character tried to have a serious conversation with a beholder, but it was a real *eye*-opener of a situation.
• The gelatinous cube was always so agreeable, it had a real *go with the flow* attitude, and also a talent for absorbing things.
• My friend tried to give the Tarrasque a gift, but it just wasn’t *receiving* it well, it just kept stomping on it.
• The mind flayer tried to write a self-help book, but it was a real *mind*-numbing experience, mostly just a lot of psionic jargon.
• The basilisk was trying to be a comedian, but all his jokes were a bit *stony* and fell flat.
• I tried to get a job as a mimic, but they said my application was *form*-ally rejected.
• The ghost was always so transparent about its feelings, it was a real *spirited* individual.
• The medusa’s hair was always getting her into trouble, it was a real *snake*-pit of a situation.
• My orc’s attempts at gardening always end up with a lot of *root*-ing for trouble.
• The displacer beast was always changing its mind, it was a real *shifting* of priorities.
• The young dragon was feeling insecure about his size, so he started lifting *scale* weights and reading self help books with lots of *fire*-y motivation.