150 Best Ex Puns and Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Cry or Both

Just broke up? Feeling a mix of emotions from sadness to maybe, *just maybe*, a tiny bit of relief? Laughter might be the best medicine, and what better way to heal a broken heart than with some hilariously awful ex puns and jokes?

Get ready to chuckle, groan, and maybe even share a few of these with your friends (or your ex, if you’re feeling brave!). We’ve compiled a list of the most groan-worthy, yet oddly satisfying, ex-themed puns that are guaranteed to lighten the mood.

Prepare for some pun-believable humor that will help you move on, one laugh at a time!

Best Ex Puns and Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Cry or Both

• I tried to write a song about my ex, but it kept getting re-mixed.
• Why did the ex-math teacher break up with the protractor? Because she said he was too obtuse.
• My ex told me I was immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
• My ex was really into conspiracy theories. I guess that explains why she was so good at making things up.
• I saw my ex at the gym today; turns out we still weren’t working out.
• What do you call an ex who’s now a lawyer? Sue-nami.
• My ex-girlfriend’s a librarian. You could say she’s really good at shelving our relationship.
• I told my ex I needed space. She laughed and said, “That’s what you always wanted, but you kept coming back.”
• My ex started dating a mime. It’s like our relationship, but with even less communication.
• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like my ex.
• I went to a psychic to find out about my love life. She said, “I see a clean break… and a restraining order.” I guess my ex is still around.
• My ex-wife is a historian. She’s good at dwelling on the past, which is probably why we’re not together anymore.
• I tried to get over my ex by dating a twin. It wasn’t the same, but it was a good reflection on what I used to have.
• My ex was always saying I never listened. Or was she? I can’t remember.
• What’s the best way to avoid seeing your ex? Just stay home. That’s what I did even when we *were* together.

Ex Puns: The Perfect Post-Breakup Laugh

Heartbreak got you down? Ex Puns and Jokes are here to help! Sometimes, the best way to heal is through laughter, even if it’s a little cheesy. Explore a collection of puns and jokes designed to poke fun at past relationships and help you find humor in the aftermath. It’s…

• I tried to write a breakup letter, but I just couldn’t find the right words… or delete button.
• My ex and I were like a poorly designed website: lots of clicks, no real connection.
• Our relationship was like a broken pencil: pointless.
• Dating my ex was like using a public restroom: I knew I’d regret it eventually.
• I told my ex I needed space, and they said, “But we’re already social distancing!”
• My ex was so good at gardening, they really knew how to weed me out of their life.
• I went to a breakup support group, but it was too depressing; I needed a laugh, not more tears.
• My ex said I had a problem with boundaries, I guess they were right when they said to “Get out of my house”.
• Our breakup was like a bad plumbing job: messy, expensive, and required professional help to clean up.
• I tried to make a joke about my ex, but it was too soon; the wound is still open, and the humor is in critical condition.
• My ex was a magician, but all they could make disappear was my happiness.
• I accidentally texted my ex, but it’s okay; auto-correct saved me by sending a string of gibberish instead.
• Our relationship was like a poorly constructed outhouse: shaky, smelly, and ultimately doomed to collapse.
• I went to a psychic to find out about my love life, she said I would be alone for a long time. Well, that was a clear and present danger, and a real waste of money.
• Our breakup was like a poorly written screenplay: full of plot holes and a terrible ending.

Ex Jokes: Finding Humor in Heartbreak

“Ex Jokes: Finding Humor in Heartbreak” cleverly navigates the pain of past relationships through witty wordplay. It’s a collection of “Ex Puns and Jokes” that transforms heartache into laughter. From puns about former flames to relatable jokes about breakups, this book offers a lighthearted way to process and even poke…

• I’m returning my ex to the manufacturer; there’s clearly a defect.
• My ex and I had a lot of bad blood, but now it’s just water under the bridge…and hopefully out of my septic tank.
• I’ve decided to rename my ex ‘Ctrl+Alt+Delete’ because that’s the only way to get rid of them.
• My ex was a magician; they promised to make my problems disappear, but they were the problem.
• My ex was a car salesman; he really knew how to drive me away.
• I used to think my ex was the missing piece, but turns out, they were just a puzzle piece from a completely different set.
• I’m starting a new hobby; it’s called “Moving On,” and my ex isn’t invited.
• Dating my ex was like a gas station bathroom: convenient at the time but regrettable later.
• I told my ex I needed space. She said, “But we’re already social distancing!”
• I’m convinced my ex is a vampire; they sucked the life out of me.
• My ex and I were like a broken washing machine: lots of spinning, but no clean results.
• My ex and I were like mismatched socks: cute at first, but ultimately uncomfortable and destined for the lost-and-found.
• I’m not saying my ex was a bad driver, but our relationship was full of red flags and near misses.
• My ex was a weather reporter; they always brought a storm into my life.
• I tried to write a song about my breakup, but it was too hard to find a catchy chorus.

Ex-cellent Puns: When to Use Them (and When Not To)

Ex-cellent puns can be hilarious, but tread carefully! Knowing when to deploy these wordplay weapons is key. A lighthearted jab at a shared memory? Maybe. A deeply personal wound disguised as humor? Definitely not. Read the room, consider your ex’s feelings, and prioritize kindness over a cheap laugh.

• My ex and I were great as a couple, but then we both realized we preferred being ex-cellent individuals.
• Dating my ex was like a software update: initially promising, but ultimately full of bugs.
• I’m not saying my ex is bad at relationships, but her love life is like a revolving door that only spins one way: out.
• My ex was a magician, but all he could conjure was my regret.
• Our relationship was like a broken phone: we just couldn’t connect anymore.
• I tried to get over my ex by writing a song about her, but it was just a remix of heartbreak.
• I’m not saying my ex was bad, but I’ve had better dates with a pizza.
• My ex-girlfriend is a historian. She’s good at dwelling on the past, which is probably why we’re not together anymore.
• I used to think my ex was the missing piece, but turns out, they were just a puzzle piece from a completely different set.
• My ex and I were like two mismatched socks: cute at first, but ultimately uncomfortable and destined for the lost-and-found.
• Our relationship was like a bad plumbing job: messy, expensive, and required professional help to clean up.
• I accidentally sent my ex a text saying “I miss you,” but it was okay, auto-correct saved me by changing it to “I miss your dog.”
• My therapist suggested I write a breakup letter to my bad habits. I told her, “I’ll try, but I’m not sure how to address ‘Procrastination’.”
• My date was a pilot; I should have known he’d take off early.
• My ex and I were like a broken washing machine: lots of spinning, but no clean results.

Ex Jokes That Are Actually Funny: A Rare Breed

Ex puns and jokes? Tread carefully! Most miss the mark, landing somewhere between bitter and boring. However, a rare breed exists: genuinely funny ex jokes. These gems cleverly twist shared history and relatable heartbreak into witty observations, proving that even in the aftermath of love, laughter can bloom.

• My ex is like a broken pencil… pointless.
• Dating my ex was like running in flip-flops: a bad idea that ended in pain.
• My ex and I were like oil and water; we never mixed, but always made a splash.
• My ex told me I was clingy; I haven’t seen them since.
• My ex was a professional juggler; I guess you could say he dropped the ball on our relationship.
• My ex and I were like a broken washing machine: lots of spinning, but no clean results.
• My ex is like a bad internet connection: slow, unreliable, and always dropping out at the worst moment.
• I tried to get over my ex by dating a twin, but it just wasn’t the same.
• My ex was a magician; every time I saw them, poof, my happiness disappeared.
• Breaking up with my ex was easy; it was like taking candy from a baby… a really annoying, clingy baby.
• My ex was a weather reporter; they always brought a storm into my life.
• I’m not saying my ex was bad, but I’ve had better dates with a pizza.
• My ex was a scarecrow; he was outstanding in his field, but lacked common sense.
• My ex was a librarian; she was nice but kept shushing me all night. It was a novel experience, but not one I’d repeat.
• My ex was a car salesman; he really knew how to drive me away.

Ex Puns for Instagram: Caption Your Closure

Navigating a breakup with humor? “Ex Puns for Instagram: Caption Your Closure” offers witty puns and jokes perfect for your post-breakup Instagram captions. It’s a lighthearted way to express your feelings, find closure, and maybe even get a laugh from your followers. Turn heartache into humor and reclaim your feed!

• My ex was a scarecrow; good at standing in his field, bad at commitment.
• I’m not saying my ex was a bad driver, but our relationship was full of red flags and near misses.
• My ex was a weather reporter; I should have seen the storm coming.
• My ex was a professional bowler; he really knew how to throw my life into the gutter.
• My ex was a chef; he seasoned our relationship with too much spice and not enough love.
• My therapist told me to embrace my ex; now I’m just waiting for the restraining order.
• My ex was a librarian; I should have known she’d give me the silent treatment.
• I’m starting a band called “The Ex-Files”; we only play break-up songs.
• My ex was a gardener; he really knew how to weed out the good things in my life.
• My ex and I were like a broken record; constantly repeating the same mistakes.
• My ex was a pilot; he really knew how to take off without me.
• My ex was an artist; he was great at drawing attention to himself, but terrible at drawing me closer.
• My ex was a magician; everything he did was a trick.
• My ex was a meteorologist; he brought a storm over the whole evening.
• My ex was an astronomer; he was out of this world, but not in a good way.

Ex Jokes: Coping Mechanism or Cruel Comedy?

Ex puns and jokes: are they harmless humor or harbor hidden hurt? We’ve all made them, or been the butt of them. It’s tricky territory. Sometimes, a witty ex-related quip is a coping strategy, a way to reclaim power. But tread carefully – what feels funny to one person might…

• I tried to write my ex a love song, but all I could come up with was a breakup ballad.
• My ex said I was too indecisive, so I’m not sure if we’re really broken up or not.
• Dating my ex was like a game of chess; I always saw their next move, but it still ended in checkmate.
• I’m trying to get over my ex, but it’s hard when their memory is always popping up like an ad I can’t skip.
• My ex and I were like a broken pencil: pointless…and now dull.
• I’m starting a support group for people who are dating my ex; it’s a community of shared trauma.
• My ex was a professional tightrope walker; it was only a matter of time before things fell apart.
• I got my ex a map for their birthday, but they still couldn’t find their way back to me.
• My therapist suggested I write a letter to my ex and burn it. I can’t even trust myself with matches.
• My ex was a professional bowler; he really knew how to throw my life into the gutter.
• I saw my ex at a blood drive and thought, “Well, that’s ironic.”
• Dating my ex was like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube blindfolded; frustrating and ultimately pointless.
• My ex said I was too predictable. So, I surprised them by moving to another continent.
• My ex was a professional juggler; I guess you could say he dropped the ball on our relationship.
• I’m not saying my ex was bad, but I’ve had better dates with a pizza.

Ex Puns and Relationship Advice: A Tangled Web

Navigating post-breakup humor? “Ex Puns and Jokes” explores the surprisingly tangled web of relationship advice and wordplay. Can a well-timed pun mend a broken heart, or does it just add salt to the wound? We dissect the comedic potential (and pitfalls) of using humor to cope with, or even comment…

• My ex and I were great at avoiding each other; we had excellent dodging skills.
• I’m breaking up with my memory foam mattress; it’s always reminding me of the indent my ex left.
• I tried to write a song about my ex, but it was a ballad of regret that no one wanted to hear.
• My ex said I was always late. I guess you could say I had a problem with ex-ecution.
• I returned my ex’s favorite t-shirt, it was a real clean break.
• I’m not saying my ex was a bad influence, but since we broke up, my bank account has grown.
• My relationship with my ex was like a limited edition item, highly sought after but didn’t last.
• I’m breaking up with my rear-view mirror. It’s always showing me what’s behind, not what’s ahead.
• My ex and I were like a broken pencil, pointless.
• I’m breaking up with my bookshelf. It’s holding too many memories.
• I tried to make a joke about my ex, but it was too soon, I’ll have to shelve it for later.
• I’m breaking up with my doormat, I need someone who will welcome me not let me get walked all over.
• My ex and I were like a broken printer; we just couldn’t connect.
• My relationship with my ex was like a dead-end street; no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t turn it around.
• I tried to get over my ex by starting a new hobby: amnesia.

Crafting Your Own Ex Jokes: A Step-by-Step Guide

Ready to turn heartbreak into hilarity? “Crafting Your Own Ex Jokes: A Step-by-Step Guide” helps you mine your past relationship for comedic gold. We’ll walk you through finding the funny in shared experiences, transforming those awkward moments into laugh-out-loud ex puns and jokes. It’s catharsis with a punchline!

• My ex was a detective; always investigating my life, even after the case was closed.
• Dating my ex was like a demo version of a software – limited features and constant reminders to upgrade.
• I donated my ex’s favorite sweater to charity; now someone else can enjoy being emotionally entangled.
• My ex had a PhD in drama; turns out, I was her thesis.
• I tried to get over my ex by writing a song, but it was just a remix of heartache.
• My ex was a professional bowler; they always knew how to throw my life into the gutter.
• I saw my ex at a car dealership; it was a sign they were looking for something new to drive me crazy.
• My ex and I were like a broken pencil; pointless.
• I was trying to be nice, but I accidentally called my teacher “Mom” in front of the whole class; it was a real Freudian slip-up.
• My ex was a magician; they promised to make my problems disappear, but all they did was disappear themselves.
• I tried to make a joke about my ex, but it was too soon; the wound is still open, and the humor is in critical condition.
• My ex was a car salesman; he really knew how to drive me away.
• I tried to get over my ex by dating a twin, but it just wasn’t the same.
• I’m starting a new business called “Ex-Terminators”; we specialize in removing toxic people from your life.
• I’m not saying my ex was a bad influence, but since we broke up, my bank account has grown.