150 Best Montreal Puns and Jokes The Funniest Francophone Humor

Ready to laugh till your poutine spills? Get ready for a hilarious journey through the city of Montreal, one pun at a time! We’re diving headfirst into a collection of the best Montreal puns and jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone.

Whether you’re a local, a tourist, or just someone who appreciates a good play on words, prepare to be amused. From bagels to the Canadiens, no Montreal icon is safe from our witty wordplay.

So, grab a brew, settle in, and get ready for some seriously cheesy (and hopefully hilarious) Montreal puns and jokes!

Best Montreal Puns and Jokes The Funniest Francophone Humor

• Why did the bagel break up with the croissant in Montreal? It said they were too flaky.
• I tried to make poutine at home, but it was a grave-y mistake.
• What do you call a lazy beaver in Montreal? Un castor trèes fainéant.
• Montreal’s winters are so long, they’re snow laughing matter.
• Why did the Habs fan bring a ladder to the game? He wanted to get a better view of the Cup!
• I told my friend I was visiting Montreal. He said, “Oh, I’ve Bean there!” (Referring to Schwartz’s Deli).
• Did you hear about the Montreal mime? He was finally starting to come out of his shell.
• What’s Montreal’s favorite type of music? The Canadiens’ national anthem!
• Why did the tourist get lost in the Underground City? Because he took the wrong Métro route! It was quite the under-taking.
• I’m reading a book about Montreal history. It’s full of plot-in.
• Why was the squirrel so popular in Mount Royal Park? He was nuts about making friends.
• I tried to order a smoked meat sandwich in Spanish in Montreal. It was a real lengua twister.
• What do you call a fake noodle in Montreal’s Chinatown? An impasta.
• My trip to Montreal was so good, it was a crêpe expectation.
• Someone tried to steal all the syrup from a sugar shack near Montreal. The police are investigating, it was a sticky situation.

Montreal Puns: A Hilarious Habitant Hodgepodge

Dive into the playful world of “Montreal Puns: A Hilarious Habitant Hodgepodge,” a collection celebrating Montreal’s unique charm through witty wordplay. Expect a delightful mix of French and English puns, poking fun at everything from bagels to hockey. It’s a guaranteed laugh riot for anyone who loves Montreal or appreciates…

• I tried to write a song about Montreal bagels, but it was too hole-y.
• Why was the poutine feeling down? It was having a gravy situation.
• Heard about the new Cirque du Soleil show? It’s in-tents!
• What do you call a lazy croissant in Montreal? A flake-r.
• I told my friend I was visiting Old Montreal; he said, “That sounds very historique-al!”
• Why did the hockey player bring string to the game in Montreal? He wanted to tie the score.
• What do you call a Montreal smoked meat sandwich that’s always right? Corrected beef.
• Why did the tourist get lost in Montreal? He took a wrong turn on Saint-Laurent and got Décarie-d away.
• Montreal’s so bilingual, even the street signs have a split personality.
• I tried to make a joke about the Montreal Metro, but it was too underground.
• What’s a Montreal cat’s favorite food? Meow-ntreal smoked meat.
• Why did the comedian move to Montreal? He heard the jokes were very bien.
• I went to a cheese shop in Montreal and asked for the best cheese. The worker responded, “That’s a Gouda question.”
• What do you call a Montrealer who loves to garden? A plant-based habitant.
• Why did the ghost move to Montreal? He heard the city had great *spirit*.

Poutine-tially Funny: Montreal Food Jokes

Dive into Montreal’s quirky humor with “Poutine-tially Funny,” a delightful collection within “Montreal Puns and Jokes.” Expect cheesy wordplay and gravy-soaked gags centered around the city’s iconic dish. From “curd” jokes to “sauce”-y puns, this section offers a delicious serving of laughter, proving Montreal’s wit is as rich and satisfying…

• Why did the bagel go to therapy? It was feeling a little hole-y.
• I tried to make a joke about Montreal smoked meat, but it was too corned-y.
• What do you call a happy plate of poutine? A gravy situation.
• Why did the croissant start a band? It wanted to be a roll model.
• I told my friend I was opening a crêpe stand, he said “That sounds like a batter idea!”
• What do you call a lazy poutine? A couch potato.
• Why did the bagel get a job at the bakery? It kneaded the dough.
• I tried to make a joke about tourtière but it was half baked.
• What do you call a sad smoked meat sandwich? A blue plate special.
• Why did the beaver move to Montreal? He heard the wood was great for building *dam* good restaurants.
• What’s a Montrealer’s favorite type of music? Bagel blues.
• I tried to open a poutine shop but it was a gravy mistake.
• What do you call a croissant that’s always right? Correct dough.
• Why did the coffee bean move to Montreal? It heard the city had a great *blend* of flavors.
• What do you call a mischievous poutine? A gravy train robber.

Montreal Jokes That Will Mount Royal-ly Amuse You

Craving a chuckle with a distinct Montreal flavour? Dive into our collection of “Montreal Puns and Jokes”! We’ve carefully curated a selection of local humour, including “Montreal Jokes That Will Mount Royal-ly Amuse You,” guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. Prepare for puns so good, they’re practically poutine-tastic!

• Why did the bagel go to university in Montreal? It wanted to get a hole-istic education.
• I tried to make a joke about the Montreal Biodome, but it was too in-zoo-berant.
• What do you call a French-Canadian superhero? Mountie Python!
• I told my friend I was going to Montreal to learn French. He said, “Bien chance with that!”
• Why did the ghost move to Old Montreal? He heard it had great haunt-mosphere.
• Why did the croissant blush? Because it saw the bagel getting dressed!
• Montreal’s construction is so intense, it’s a real concrete jungle gym.
• What do you call a nervous plate of poutine? A fry-tened side.
• I saw a squirrel trying to order a smoked meat sandwich. It was a real deli-cate situation.
• Why did the coffee go to Mile End? To get a hipster blend of culture.
• What’s a Montrealer’s favorite dance? The Saint-Laurent shuffle.
• Why did the beaver move to Montreal? He wanted to build a dam good life.
• I tried to make a joke about the Just For Laughs festival, but it fell flat. Guess I’m not funny *enough*.
• What do you call a musical instrument made of bagels? A dough-bone.
• Why did the maple syrup get a ticket in Montreal? It was speeding on the Autoroute.

Quebec Quips and Montreal Puns: Language Laughs

Dive into the playful world of Montreal humor! “Quebec Quips and Montreal Puns: Language Laughs” explores the unique wit born from the city’s linguistic duality. Expect clever wordplay, bilingual puns, and jokes that poke fun at Quebec culture and its relationship with English. It’s a celebration of Montreal’s vibrant, joke-filled…

• Why did the mime love living in Montreal? It was a city of no words needed!
• What do you call a fashionable beaver in Montreal? A dam good dresser!
• I tried to make a joke about the Montreal Canadiens, but I couldn’t find a winning line.
• Why did the bicycle move to Montreal? It wanted to experience the Tour de l’Île without the pressure.
• What’s a Montrealer’s favorite type of flower? Fleur-de-lis-ious ones!
• I told my friend I was going to a jazz festival in Montreal; he said, “That sounds very *sax*-citing!”
• What do you call a nervous smoked meat sandwich? A deli-cate situation.
• Why did the coffee go to Jean-Talon Market? It heard the selection was *brew*-tiful.
• Why did the ghost move to Montreal? He wanted to experience the haunt couture.
• What do you call a Montreal beaver that’s a lawyer? A sue-perior builder.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner child, so I went to La Ronde and rode the rollercoasters all day.
• What do you call a musical instrument made of bagels? A dough-tar.
• Why did the croissant blush? Because it saw the poutine getting dressed!
• I tried to make a joke about Mount Royal, but it was too elevated.
• What do you call a polite Montreal raccoon? A courteous critter.

Hockey Humor: Montreal Canadiens Puns and Jokes

Montreal Canadiens puns? Oh, they’re a bleu-tiful thing! From “Habs-olutely hilarious” to jokes about scoring “goal-den” laughs, Montreal’s hockey humor is a cultural phenomenon. It’s a playful way to celebrate (or commiserate) with Les Glorieux, adding a uniquely Montreal twist to the city’s already vibrant comedic landscape.

• Why did the Montreal Canadiens start a gardening club? They wanted to improve their rink-frastructure.
• What do you call a Montreal Canadiens player who’s also a baker? A dough-fenceman.
• I tried to write a song about the Canadiens’ power play, but it was too short-handed.
• Why are Montreal Canadiens fans so good at math? They know all about the power play percentages.
• What’s a Montreal Canadiens player’s favorite type of flower? A fleur-de-lis-y.
• What do you call a Montreal Canadiens player who’s also a detective? A clue liner.
• Why did the Montreal Canadiens bring a ladder to the game? They wanted to get to the upper deck of the Bell Centre.
• What’s a Montreal Canadiens player’s favorite board game? Hockey-opoly.
• Why are Montreal Canadiens games so exciting? They’re always full of ice-olation plays.
• What do you call a Montreal Canadiens player who’s also a chef? A saucy skater.
• I tried to make a joke about the Montreal Canadiens’ penalty kill, but it was too off-sides.
• Why did the Montreal Canadiens start a clothing line? They wanted to create some stylish rink-wear.
• What’s a Montreal Canadiens player’s favorite type of music? Puck rock.
• What do you call a Montreal Canadiens player who’s afraid of the dark? A scaredy skater.
• I asked a Montreal Canadiens player for his autograph, and he said, “Sure, just put it on the ice!”

Festival Funnies: Laughing Through Montreal Events

Delve into the hilarious heart of Montreal with “Festival Funnies”! This collection spotlights puns and jokes inspired by the city’s vibrant events. From Just For Laughs to the Jazz Fest, experience Montreal through a comedic lens. Prepare for a “poutine”-tially side-splitting journey exploring the city’s cultural celebrations.

• I tried to visit Habitat 67, but I couldn’t figure out how to get in. It was quite the complex situation.
• Why did the coffee go to the Plateau? To get a taste of the bohemian brew-haha!
• What do you call a nervous beaver at a hockey game? A dam-fraid fan.
• I’m reading a book about the history of the Montreal Expos. It’s a real *base*-ic read.
• Why did the coffee bean move to Mount Royal? It wanted to get a higher *ground*.
• What do you call a Montreal Canadiens player who’s also a gardener? A bleu, blanc, rouge thumb.
• I saw a squirrel trying to climb the Olympic Stadium. It was aiming for new heights… or at least a good nut stash.
• Why did the bagel go to law school? To get a *hole*-istic view of the justice system.
• What do you call a nervous poutine? A fry-light situation.
• I tried to make a joke about the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, but it wasn’t very *art*-iculate.
• Why did the coffee bean move to the Underground City? It wanted to be part of the underground scene.
• What do you call a fashionable smoked meat sandwich? A deli-cious trendsetter.
• I saw a beaver trying to pay for his groceries with wood chips. It was a real *dam* shame.
• Why did the coffee bean move to Little Italy? It wanted to be part of the espresso lane.
• What do you call a nervous plate of smoked meat? A deli-cate situation.

Montreal Puns: From Old Montreal to New Heights of Humor

Explore the hilarious side of Canada’s cultural hub with “Montreal Puns: From Old Montreal to New Heights of Humor!” This collection delivers a delightful mix of wordplay, poking fun at everything from poutine to Parc Jean-Drapeau. Prepare for laughs as Montreal’s iconic landmarks and vibrant spirit get the pun-tastic treatment.

• I tried to make a Montreal-themed cocktail, but it was a bit too *Saint-Laurent*-ly strong.
• Why did the coffee go to the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts? It heard the *latte* art was exquisite.
• What do you call a Montreal smoked meat sandwich that’s always telling tall tales? A baloney.
• I saw a beaver wearing a tiny Canadiens jersey. He was hoping to build a dam good power play.
• Why did the croissant go to business school in Montreal? To learn how to make more *dough*.
• What do you call a group of musical bagels in Montreal? A hole-y band.
• My therapist told me to embrace the present, so I booked a trip to Montreal. Now I’m just *present*… in Montreal.
• Why did the coffee bean move to the Old Port? It wanted to experience the *aroma*tic history.
• What do you call a nervous Montreal poutine chef? A fry-ghtened cook.
• I tried to write a song about the Montreal Biodome, but it was too *enviro*-mental.
• Why did the maple leaf get a speeding ticket in Montreal? It was trying to *leaf* the competition behind.
• What do you call a Montreal Canadiens player who’s also a stand-up comedian? A pun-chman.
• Why did the coffee bean move to the Plateau Mont-Royal? It wanted to be surrounded by *bohemian blend* of culture.
• I saw a beaver trying to buy a smoked meat sandwich with wood chips. It was a real *wood*n’t pay situation.
• What do you call a Montreal smoked meat sandwich that loves to gossip? A deli-cious source.

Beyond Bonjour: Montreal Culture Jokes

“Beyond Bonjour: Montreal Culture Jokes” dives deeper than simple language puns. It explores the city’s unique blend of European flair and North American hustle, poking fun at everything from poutine obsession to construction chaos. Get ready for jokes that truly “get” Montreal, moving past basic French phrases and into the…

• Why did the gargoyle get a job at Notre-Dame Basilica? For the stone-cold benefits.
• I tried to make a joke about the Big O, but it was too dome-esticated.
• What do you call a fashionable smoked meat sandwich? A deli-catessen.
• Why did the coffee bean move to the Latin Quarter? It wanted to experience some *café* culture.
• What’s a Montrealer’s favorite type of shoe? A sab-oat.
• I saw a beaver trying to pay for his poutine with beaver pelts. It was a real *fur* real moment.
• Why did the ghost move to the Montreal Museum of Archaeology and History? He wanted to bone up on his knowledge.
• What do you call a nervous Canadiens player? A puck-ered up skater.
• I tried to write a song about Mount Royal, but it was too uphill.
• Why did the bagel apply for a job at the Gazette? He wanted to be a *hole*-istic reporter.
• What do you call a musical instrument made of poutine? A gravy-tar.
• Why was the poutine so popular? It had great a-peel.
• I tried to make a joke about the Montreal Botanical Garden, but it didn’t blossom.
• What do you call a group of musical beavers in Montreal? A dam band.
• Why did the croissant go to therapy? It was feeling crumb-y.