150 Best Pirate Puns and Jokes Ahoy Matey Hilarious Fun for Kids

Ahoy there, mateys! Are you ready for a treasure trove of laughter? Get ready to hoist the sails and embark on a hilarious adventure with the best pirate puns and jokes for kids. We’ve scoured the seven seas to bring you a collection so funny, it’ll make you say “Shiver me timbers!”

From silly sea shanties to corny pirate wordplay, these jokes are guaranteed to have your little buccaneers giggling. Perfect for parties, car rides, or just a bit of family fun, these pirate puns will make your crew the jolliest on the high seas.

Prepare to be boarded with laughter! Let’s dive into this treasure chest of pirate jokes.

Best Pirate Puns and Jokes Ahoy Matey Hilarious Fun for Kids

• Why did the pirate fail his driving test? He kept running red lights!
• What do you call a pirate with two eyes? A pirate who can see!
• I tried to make a pirate joke, but it was a bit of a sea-cret.
• How do pirates communicate? Aye-to-aye!
• A pirate walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia… They’re right behind you!
• What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school? Arrrrt!
• Why are pirates so bad at poker? They always have a hand full of cards, and an ace in the hole!
• Why don’t pirates like going to the beach? They get washed ashore too often!
• What did the pirate say when he lost his parrot? “Polly-gone!”
• Why was the pirate so grumpy? He was always in a bad arrrr-titude!
• What do you call a pirate who skips class? Captain Hooky!
• A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants. The bartender asks, “What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate replies, “Arrrr, it’s driving me nuts!”
• What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good sea-quence!
• My dad told me I should try to be more like a pirate, so I stopped bathing and started wearing an eye patch. Now, I’m just a terrible person with bad vision.
• I asked a pirate if he knew how to sail a ship. He said, “I’ve got it down to a T… and an S… and an A… and an I… and… well, you get the picture.”

Ahoy Matey: Pirate Puns to Make Kids Giggle

Looking for some swashbuckling laughs? “Ahoy Matey” is a treasure chest of pirate puns perfect for kids! This book, part of a larger collection of pirate jokes, is full of silly wordplay that’ll have young buccaneers giggling. Get ready for some ‘arr-some’ fun and plenty of pirate-themed groans!

• A pirate’s favorite subject is *arrrr*t and crafts.
• Why did the pirate go to therapy? He had too many buried issues.
• What do you call a pirate with a cold? A scurvy dog.
• I tried to make a joke about a pirate ship, but it just wouldn’t *sail* right.
• A pirate walks into a library and asks for books about treasure maps…they’re on the *argh*chive.
• Why don’t pirates like fast food? Because it’s too *scurvy*.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite type of tree? A *palm* tree.
• I told my friend a joke about a pirate, but he didn’t *sea* it.
• A pirate was trying to learn how to knit, but he kept dropping stitches. He said, “I’m having a terribly *knotty* time with this!”
• What do you call a pirate who loves to garden? A *sea-soned* planter.
• Why did the pirate get a new parrot? Because he was tired of the old one, he was a bit *squawk*-ward.
• A pirate walks into a coffee shop and asks for a black coffee, the barista says “Are you sure? That’s a bit of a *dark* choice,” the pirate replies “Arrr, I’m feeling a bit *dread*-ful today.”
• Why did the pirate start a bakery? He heard the *dough* was good.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite type of footwear? *Buccaneer* boots.
• Why was the pirate so bad at telling jokes? All his punchlines were too *corny*.

Kids’ Pirate Jokes: Set Sail for Silly Laughter

Ahoy, mateys! Get ready to chuckle with “Kids’ Pirate Jokes: Set Sail for Silly Laughter”! This book is packed with hilarious pirate puns and jokes perfect for kids. It’s a treasure chest of giggles, guaranteed to make any young buccaneer burst into laughter. Prepare for some swashbuckling silliness!

• Why did the pirate sit on the clock? He wanted to be on time for the high tide.
• What do you call a pirate who loves to knit? A yarn-arrr-teist.
• A pirate was trying to learn to knit, but kept dropping stitches, he said, “I’m having a real knot-sea time with this!”
• Why did the pirate get a job at the bakery? He was great at making *dough*nuts.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise? The plank.
• I tried to write a song about a pirate ship, but it was a bit too *sea*-rious.
• What do you call a pirate with no legs? A peg-arrr-son.
• A pirate went to the library, but all the books were a little *argh*-gumentative.
• Why are pirates such bad comedians? All their jokes are a bit *corny*.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite type of art? Anything with a good *sea*scape.
• I tried to make a joke about a pirate’s parrot, but it just wouldn’t *squawk* right.
• Why did the pirate get a bad grade in math? He was always counting his *booty* wrong.
• A pirate walks into a restaurant and asks for a table, the host says, “Sorry sir, we’re all booked up.” The pirate replies, “Arrr, then I shall take my *seat* at the bar!”
• What do you call a pirate that’s always getting lost? A *sea*-mless wanderer.
• Why did the pirate get a new parrot? Because the old one was too *squawk*-ward.

Funny Pirate Puns: Perfect for Young Buccaneers

Ahoy, mateys! Get ready for a treasure chest of giggles! “Funny Pirate Puns: Perfect for Young Buccaneers” is packed with silly jokes that’ll have your little pirates saying “arrr-larious!” From sea-riously funny wordplay to swashbuckling silliness, these puns are perfect for sparking laughter and good times. Get ready to set…

• Why did the pirate get a new eye patch? Because his old one was looking a little *patchy*.
• What do you call a pirate that loves to play the guitar? A *plunder*-er of tunes.
• I tried to make a pirate joke about a map, but I couldn’t find the right *coordinates*.
• Why did the pirate go to the art gallery? He wanted to see all the *sea*scapes.
• A pirate walked into a coffee shop and asked for a tall dark roast, he said, “I’m feeling a little *dread*-ful today.”
• What do you call a pirate with a stutter? A *stutter*-buckler.
• I told my dad a pirate joke, but he didn’t get it, he said, “I think I need a *sea*cond to understand.”
• Why was the pirate so good at chess? He always knew how to make a *check-matey*.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite type of restaurant? Anything with *fish* and ships.
• A pirate went to school, but all the classes were a little *argh*-duous.
• Why did the pirate get a new anchor? Because he wanted to make sure his ship was *stable*.
• What do you call a pirate that loves to read? A *chapter*-arrr-teist.
• A pirate was trying to learn a new dance, but he kept tripping, he said, “I’m having a *sea-leg* problem.”
• Why did the pirate get a bad grade in music class? He couldn’t keep his notes *sea*-sharp.
• What do you call a pirate who loves to tell tales? A *yarn-arrr*-teist.

Treasure Trove of Pirate Jokes: Guaranteed Kid-Approved Fun

Ahoy there, mateys! Looking for some buccaneer belly laughs? “Treasure Trove of Pirate Jokes” is your map to hilarious, kid-friendly fun. Packed with puns and jokes, this collection guarantees giggles and groans galore. Get ready for a swashbuckling good time with pirate humor that’s sure to be a hit!

• Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the ship? He wanted to reach the high seas.
• What do you call a pirate that’s always running late? A *tardy*-buccaneer.
• A pirate was trying to learn to knit but kept dropping stitches, he said, “Shiver me timbers, I’m having a *knotty* time with this!”
• Why did the pirate get a new compass? His old one was a little *lost* at sea.
• A pirate went to school, but all the classes were a little *argh*-duous.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise? The *plank*, of course!
• Why did the pirate get a time out? He was being a bit *salty*.
• What do you call a pirate who loves to garden? A *sea-soned* planter.
• I told a pirate joke to my friend but he didn’t *sea* it.
• Why did the pirate buy a new eye patch? Because his old one was looking a little *patchy*.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite type of shoe? *Buccaneer* boots.
• A pirate was terrible at learning to dance, he kept having *sea-leg* problems.
• I tried to tell my friend a joke about a pirate ship, but it just wouldn’t *sail* right.
• What do you call a pirate that loves to play the guitar? A *plunder*-er of tunes.
• Why did the pirate get a new parrot? Because his old one was a bit too *squawk*-ward.

Pirate Puns for Parties: Shiver Me Timbers with Hilarious Gags

Ahoy, mateys! Get ready to laugh ’til ye walk the plank with “Pirate Puns for Parties”! This treasure chest of jokes is perfect for kids, packed with silly pirate gags that’ll have everyone saying “Shiver me timbers!” It’s guaranteed to make any party a swashbuckling success.

• Why did the pirate cross the playground? To get to the other slide-arrr!
• A pirate walks into a library and asks for books about himself, then exclaims, “I’m feeling a bit *argh*-duous today!”
• What do you call a pirate who loves to dance? A swash-buckler!
• I tried to make a pirate joke about a treasure map, but I just couldn’t find the right *coordinates-arrr*.
• Why did the pirate get a new phone? He wanted to stay up to date with the latest *sea-gnal*.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite type of puzzle? A *crossword* puzzle!
• A pirate went to school, but all the classes were a bit *argh*-duous.
• Why are pirates so bad at poker? Because they always have a *bluff* hand!
• What do you call a pirate that loves to garden? A *sea-soned* planter.
• I told my friend a joke about a pirate ship, but it just wouldn’t *sail* right.
• What do you call a pirate with no legs? A peg-arrr-son!
• Why don’t pirates like fast food? Because it’s too *scurvy*!
• A pirate was trying to learn how to knit, but kept dropping stitches; he said, “Shiver me timbers, I’m having a terribly *knotty* time with this!”
• What did the pirate say when he lost his parrot? “Polly-gone!”
• Why did the pirate get a bad grade in music class? He couldn’t keep his notes *sea*-sharp.

Best Pirate Jokes: A Swashbuckling Selection for Children

Looking for some hearty laughs? “Best Pirate Jokes” is a treasure chest of silly, kid-friendly humor! It’s perfect alongside other pirate joke books, offering a swashbuckling selection of puns and giggles. Your little buccaneers will be shouting “Ahoy!” with delight at every page. Get ready for some goofy, nautical nonsense!

• Why did the pirate’s parrot get a promotion? Because he was excellent at delivering the squawk-mail.
• A pirate walks into a library and asks for books about himself, then exclaims, “I’m feeling a bit *argh*-chival today!”
• What do you call a pirate who loves to play the piano? A *key*-buccaneer.
• Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the beach? He wanted to reach the high tides.
• A pirate went to the doctor, he said, “I’m feeling a bit *sea*-sick.”
• Why did the pirate get a new flag? Because his old one was a little *torn* at the edges.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite type of art? Anything with a good *sea*-scape.
• A pirate was trying to learn how to knit, but kept dropping stitches, he said, “I’m having a terribly *knotty* time with this *yarn-arrr*.”
• Why did the pirate get a new telescope? He wanted to *sea* more of the world.
• What do you call a pirate who loves to make sandwiches? A *sub*-buccaneer.
• A pirate went to school but all the classes were a bit *argh*-duous.
• Why did the pirate get a new anchor? He wanted to make sure his ship was *stable*.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite type of shoe? *Buccaneer* boots.
• Why did the pirate get a new parrot? Because the old one was too *squawk*-ward.
• What do you call a pirate who loves to garden? A *sea-soned* planter.

Clean Pirate Puns: Family-Friendly Fun for All

Ahoy, mateys! Looking for some squeaky-clean pirate giggles? “Clean Pirate Puns” is your treasure chest! These family-friendly jokes and puns are perfect for kids of all ages. Get ready for some swashbuckling silliness without any “arrrgh”-uments about inappropriate content. It’s all fun on the high seas of humor!

• Why did the pirate become a baker? He kneaded a new adventure!
• What do you call a pirate who loves to tell stories about the sea? A *yarn*-arrator.
• A pirate’s favorite subject in school? *Arrr*-ithmatic!
• Why did the pirate get a new compass? He felt his old one was a bit *lost* in its ways.
• I tried to make a pirate joke about a ship, but it just wouldn’t *float*.
• What did the pirate say when he got a parrot for his birthday? “Aww, you shouldn’t have, but *squawk* you did!”
• Why are pirates such bad singers? They always hit the wrong *sea* notes.
• A pirate walks into a library and asks for books about himself, then exclaims, “I’m feeling a bit *argh*-chival today!”
• I told my friend a pirate joke, but he didn’t get it, it was a real *sea*-cret.
• What do you call a pirate who loves to take photos? A *shutter*buckler.
• Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the ship? He wanted to reach the *high* seas.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite type of weather? When it’s *argh*-uably sunny.
• A pirate was trying to learn how to knit, but kept dropping stitches, he said, “Shiver me timbers, I’m having a terribly *knot-sea* time with this!”
• Why did the pirate get a new eye patch? Because his old one was looking a little *patchy*.
• What do you call a pirate who’s always running late? A *tardy*-buccaneer.

Pirate Puns and Riddles: Challenge Young Minds

Ahoy, mateys! Ready for some swashbuckling fun? “Pirate Puns and Riddles: Challenge Young Minds” adds a treasure chest of brain-teasing puzzles to the hilarious “Pirate Puns and Jokes for Kids.” Get ready to giggle and think, as you try to solve these silly, seafaring mysteries. It’s a perfect way to…

• Why don’t pirates ever finish their homework? They always get lost at sea.
• What do you call a pirate with two legs, two arms, and two eyes? A pirate who can see.
• A pirate walks into a dentist’s office and says, “I’ve got a gold toothache!”
• Why are pirates bad at poker? They always have a *bluff* hand.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school? *Arrr*t and crafts.
• A pirate was trying to learn a new dance but kept stumbling, he said, “These sea legs are giving me a bit of a sway!”
• Why did the pirate get a new phone? He wanted to stay up to date with all the latest *sea-nals*.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good *sea* shanty.
• Why did the pirate get a new anchor? He wanted to make sure his ship was *stable*.
• I tried to make a pirate joke about a treasure map, but I just couldn’t find the right *coordinates*.
• A pirate was trying to learn to knit, but kept dropping his stitches, he said, “Shiver me timbers, I’m having a terribly *knotty* time with this!”
• What do you call a pirate with no legs? A peg-arrr-son who’s always getting into *scrapes*.
• Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the ship? He wanted to reach the *high* seas.
• A pirate went to the library but all the books were a little *argh*-duous.
• What do you call a pirate who loves to tell tales? A *yarn-arrr*-teist.