150 Best Twilight Puns and Jokes So Good They’ll Make You Howl

Ever feel like your life is missing a little sparkle? Maybe a dash of vampire romance and a whole lot of awkward teen angst? Then you’ve come to the right place! We’re diving deep into the world of *Twilight* puns and jokes, where the laughs are as pale as Edward and the wordplay is as sharp as a Cullen fang.

Get ready to sink your teeth into some truly hilarious *Twilight* humor. Whether you’re a die-hard Team Edward or Team Jacob (or maybe even Team Switzerland!), these jokes are sure to make you howl with laughter. From awkward werewolf transformations to sparkly vampire confessions, we’ve got it all.

Best Twilight Puns and Jokes So Good They’ll Make You Howl

• Why did Bella get bad grades in school? She was always lost in a daze, Edward.
• What’s a vampire’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good bite.
• I tried to write a Twilight fanfic but it was a real pain, I kept getting writer’s block.
• Why did Jacob get a job at the bakery? He wanted to be a bread winner.
• What did Edward say when he saw Bella in a new dress? “You look…radiant.”
• I told my friend I was starting a Twilight themed gardening club, he said, “That’s a little bit Forks-y”
• Why was Alice such a good gambler? She always knew what the future held.
• Did you hear about the vampire who became a chef? He was known for his rare steaks.
• What’s a vampire’s favorite subject in school? History, because they were there for it.
• Bella and Edward are the perfect couple, they have such a strong… stake in their relationship.
• I asked a vampire if he wanted to go for a run, he said, “I’d rather just take a slow, blood-thirsty stroll”.
• Why did the Cullens move from Forks? They were tired of being surrounded by the same old trees, they wanted a fresh pine.
• What do you call a vampire who can’t make up his mind? A very indecisive bloodsucker.
• I saw a vampire using a computer and was surprised, he said “It’s easier than hunting for information in the dark ages.”
• My friend told me he was going to dress up as a vampire for Halloween, I said, “Don’t get your fangs in a twist about it.”

Twilight Puns: A Fang-tastic Collection

Ready for some laughs that’ll make you howl? “Twilight Puns: A Fang-tastic Collection” is your go-to for all things sparkly and silly. Dive into a treasure trove of vampire-themed wordplay, guaranteed to bring a smile to even the most stoic Cullen fan. It’s the perfect bite-sized humor for any Twilight…

• Bella’s new job at the florist was a real bloom-ing success, she really had a nose for it.
• Edward’s attempts at stand-up comedy were always a bit… pale.
• Jacob’s new business selling dog treats was a real howl-ing success.
• The Cullens’ favorite game is hide-and-seek, they’re just naturally good at blending in.
• I tried to write a Twilight fanfic, but it was a real pain; I kept getting writer’s block.
• Rosalie’s fashion blog was a real hit, she always had a killer style.
• Alice’s new job as a fortune teller was a real hit, she always saw the future of her clients.
• Emmett tried to be a librarian, but he kept misplacing all the books with his playful nature.
• Jasper’s therapy sessions were always a bit… tense.
• Charlie’s attempts at cooking always ended up with a Forks-y mess.
• Renesmee’s favorite subject in school? Advanced genetics, naturally.
• The Volturi’s new security system was a bit too… rigid.
• Laurent’s new job as a travel agent was a bit… nomadic.
• Victoria’s plans were always a bit… revenge-driven.
• I tried to tell a joke about the Quileute tribe but it was too wolf-ish for most.

Twilight Jokes: Breaking Dawn with Laughter

Ready for some serious “Breaking Dawn” giggles? “Twilight Jokes: Breaking Dawn with Laughter” dives into the final chapter, serving up hilarious puns and jokes inspired by Bella’s transformation and the Volturi’s drama. It’s perfect for fans who need a lighter take on the epic saga, proving even vampires can be…

• Bella’s cooking skills are a bit… *fanged*-up.
• Edward tried to start a landscaping business, but his plants were always a bit… pale.
• Jacob’s attempts at poetry are always a bit… *howl*-ing.
• The Volturi’s new security system was a bit too… *rigid* for most.
• Alice’s new fashion line was a little too… *visionary* for my style.
• Rosalie’s favorite type of car? Anything with a good *spark*-le.
• Emmett’s jokes were so bad, they were a real *bear* of a time.
• Jasper’s attempts at stand-up were always a bit… *emotional*.
• Victoria’s new business was a bit too… *revenge*-driven.
• Charlie Swan’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good *police* beat.
• Renesmee’s favorite subject in school? Advanced genetics, naturally, she’s a real *hybrid* learner.
• The Cullen’s new house was so big, it was a real *estate*-ment.
• Trying to keep up with the Cullens is like trying to read a book in a dark room, it’s a bit *unseen*.
• Edward’s attempts at being subtle are always a bit… *sparkling*.
• The Quileute tribe’s new restaurant was a bit too *wolf-ish* for my taste.

Twilight Puns and Wordplay: Getting Your Bite’s Worth

Ready for some fang-tastic fun? “Twilight Puns and Wordplay: Getting Your Bite’s Worth” dives deep into the world of vampire-themed humor. Expect clever wordplay and puns so good they’ll make you howl with laughter. From silly scenarios to iconic character quips, get ready to sink your teeth into some seriously…

• Edward’s attempts at being a DJ always leave the crowd feeling a little… pale and lifeless.
• Why did Bella get a bad grade in her biology class? She was too busy focusing on her *immortal* love.
• Jacob’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good *howl*.
• The Cullen’s new house was so modern it was a real *estate*-ment, it was truly *vamp*-tastic.
• When Bella tried to cook for Edward, she said it was a real *stake* in the heart of her culinary confidence.
• Why did the vampire get a new job at the bakery? He was great at making *bat*-tered goods.
• Rosalie’s favorite type of car? Anything with a good *sparkle*.
• Alice’s fashion advice is always a little too…*visionary* for my style.
• Emmett’s favorite type of workout is a good weight-lifting session, he really *bulks* up those muscles.
• What do you call a vampire who’s always misplacing things? A *forget-me-not* immortal.
• I tried to make a joke about the Volturi, but it was a bit too *rigid* for most people to understand.
• Edward’s favorite type of sandwich is a *fang*-tastic club.
• The wolves’ new restaurant was a bit too *wolf-ish* for my taste, it was a real *howl* of a mess.
• Why did the vampire become a gardener? He said he had a *thirst* for a new hobby.
• Bella’s attempts at stand-up comedy were always a bit… *dazed* and confusing.

Twilight Movie Jokes: Hilariously Reflecting on the Saga

Let’s face it, the Twilight movies are ripe for parody! Twilight Movie Jokes: Hilariously Reflecting on the Saga dives into the absurdity, offering witty takes on sparkly vampires and love triangles. This collection, within the realm of Twilight Puns and Jokes, is perfect for anyone who wants to laugh *at*…

• Edward’s attempts to be a DJ were always a bit… pale in comparison to the others.
• Bella’s favorite type of car? Anything with good *brake* lights.
• Jacob tried to start a dog walking business, but it was a bit too *wolf*-ish for most clients.
• The Volturi’s new accounting system was a bit too… *rigid* for their members, and was a real pain to keep track of.
• Alice’s fashion advice was always a little too… *visionary* for the rest of the town.
• When the Cullens have a family game night, it’s a real *blood*-thirsty competition.
• Rosalie’s new jewelry line was a real *spark*-le of success.
• Why did Edward get a new phone? His old one had a bad *cell* signal.
• Emmett’s new workout routine is a bit too… *bulk*-y for my taste.
• Jasper’s attempts to be a therapist were always a bit… *emotional* for his patients.
• Trying to keep a secret from the Cullens was like trying to hold water in your hands, it was always a *leak* of information.
• The Cullen’s attempts at blending in were always a bit… *pale* in comparison to the locals.
• Why was Bella such a good student? She was always *absorbed* in her studies.
• When the Cullens have a potluck, it’s always a bit of a *feast* or famine situation, with some dishes being very questionable.
• The Quileute tribe’s new restaurant was a bit too *wolf*-ish for most people, it was a real *howl* of a time.

Twilight Character Puns: Laughing with Edward, Bella, and Jacob

Ever wondered if Edward was “un-fanged” about his jokes? Or if Bella found puns “vamp-tastic”? Dive into “Twilight Character Puns,” where we explore the lighter side of Forks. From Jacob’s “paw-some” one-liners to Alice’s “pre-cognitively” funny quips, it’s a howling good time for any Twilight fan. Get ready to laugh,…

• Rosalie’s favorite type of car? Anything with a good *spark*-le, naturally.
• Edward’s attempts at being subtle always leave a *pale* impression.
• Why did Jacob get a new job as a baker? Because he was great at making *wolf*gang rolls.
• Bella’s favorite type of art? Anything with a *daze*-ling effect.
• Alice’s fashion sense is so unique, it’s a real *vision* of style.
• Emmett’s jokes were so bad, they were a real *bear* to listen to.
• Jasper’s therapy sessions were always a bit too *emotional*.
• The Volturi’s new security system was a bit too… *rigid* for most.
• Why did the Cullens move from Forks? They were tired of the same old trees, they wanted a *fresh pine*.
• Bella’s attempts at cooking were always a bit… *stake*y.
• I tried to give Edward a compliment, but he said it was too *sparkling* for his taste.
• Renesmee’s favorite subject in school? Anything *hybrid* and unique.
• Why did Carlisle get a new job as a doctor? He said he was great at patching up *vamp* wounds.
• Jacob’s new business selling dog treats was a real howl-ing success, and a *wolf* of a time.
• Laurent’s new job as a travel agent was a bit… *nomadic*.

Twilight Vampire Jokes: Sinking Your Teeth into Humor

Ready to sink your teeth into some humor? “Twilight Vampire Jokes” explore the lighter side of sparkly vampires and brooding werewolves. From blood-puns to awkward romance quips, this collection offers a playful twist on the saga. It’s a fang-tastic way to enjoy the Twilight universe with a smile.

• Edward’s attempts at being a chef always end up being a bit… rare.
• Bella’s new job at the library was a real page-turner, she was always absorbed in her work.
• Why did the vampire get a new phone? He wanted better *cell* service in the dark.
• Jacob’s new dog walking business was a real *howl*-ing success; he had a loyal pack of customers.
• The Volturi’s new security system was a bit too… rigid for the average tourist, leaving them quite *stiff*.
• Rosalie’s favorite type of car? Anything with a good *spark*-le, naturally.
• Alice’s fashion advice is always a little too… *visionary* for my style, I need something a little more down to earth.
• Emmett’s favorite type of workout is a good weight-lifting session, he really *bulks* up those muscles, it’s a real *bear* of a workout.
• Jasper’s therapy sessions were always a bit… intense, leaving his patients feeling a little too *emotional*.
• Why did Edward get a new GPS? He said his old one kept taking him to the *wrong* Forks.
• Bella’s favorite type of sandwich? A *fang*-tastic club, naturally.
• I tried to get a loan from the Cullens, but they said my credit was a little too… *blood-curdling* for their standards.
• When the Cullens decided to start a band, their music was a bit too… *pale* for most audiences.
• Why did the vampire get a bad grade in school? He was always drawing a *blank* on his tests.
• The Cullens’ attempts at blending in with the locals were always a bit… *pale* in comparison to the town’s residents.

Twilight Werewolf Puns: Howling with Laughter

Ready to howl with laughter? “Twilight Werewolf Puns: Howling with Laughter” dives deep into the furry side of Forks! Expect a pack of pun-tastic jokes centered around Jacob, his wolf pack, and all things lycanthropic. It’s the perfect collection for any Twilight fan who loves a good, slightly corny, pun.

• Jacob’s fashion sense is a bit ruff around the edges.
• The Quileute tribe’s new dating app is called “Howl About You?”
• Werewolves make terrible librarians, they always lose their place in the pack.
• Emmett’s workout routine? It’s a real bear to watch.
• Paul’s temper is legendary, you could say he has a wolf-ish disposition.
• Sam’s leadership style is a bit of a pack mentality.
• The Quileute’s favorite type of game? Fetch, but with a twist.
• Jacob’s love life is always a bit hairy.
• Leah’s sarcasm is always a bit biting.
• When the wolves go camping, they always have a howl-ing good time.
• The Quileute tribe’s new bakery is always having a bone-ified good day.
• Embry’s sense of direction is a bit… wolf-ish, he’s always getting lost in the woods.
• Seth’s optimism is a real tail-wagger.
• Jared’s attempts at being sneaky are always a bit too wolf-ish.
• The werewolves’ favorite type of story? Anything with a good tail.

Twilight Saga Puns: A Complete Collection of Funny

Craving more than just sparkly vampires? “Twilight Saga Puns: A Complete Collection of Funny” is your guide to the lighter side of Forks. Forget brooding, embrace the puns! This book dives deep into the world of “Twilight Puns and Jokes”, offering a hilarious alternative to the usual romantic drama. Get…

• Bella’s new favorite hobby is knitting, she says it’s very *thread*-iculous.
• Edward tried to write a song, but it was a bit too *sparkling* for the charts.
• Jacob’s attempts at being subtle are always a bit *wolf-ish*.
• Rosalie’s new car was so shiny, it was a real *spark*-ler.
• Alice’s new fashion line is a bit too… *visionary* for most people’s tastes.
• Emmett’s favorite type of workout is anything that helps him *bulk* up.
• Jasper’s therapy sessions are always a bit… *emotional* for his patients, leaving them feeling a little too intense.
• The Cullens’ attempts at blending in always seem a bit… *pale* in comparison to the locals.
• Charlie Swan’s favorite type of music is anything with a good *police* beat.
• Victoria’s plans were always a bit… *revenge*-driven, a real *vamp*-ire of chaos.
• Laurent’s new job as a travel agent was a bit… *nomadic*, he never seems to stay in one place.
• The Volturi’s new security system was a bit too… *rigid* for their liking, leaving everyone quite stiff.
• When Bella tried to cook for Edward, it was a real *stake* in the heart of her culinary confidence, she said she was just trying to make sure he had a *rare* treat.
• The Cullens new house was a real estate-ment of their wealth, it was truly *vamp*-tastic. They said they wanted a *fresh pine* location.
• The pack’s new restaurant was a bit too *wolf-ish* for most, it was a real *howl* of a time.