150 Best Drinking Puns and Jokes The Ultimate Guide to Spirited Humor

Ready to have a brew-tiful time? If you’re thirsting for laughter, you’ve come to the right place! We’re diving headfirst into the bubbly world of drinking puns and jokes, guaranteed to make you spill your drink (with laughter, of course).

Get ready for a collection of witty one-liners and groan-worthy zingers that’ll have you saying “Cheers!” to the power of wordplay. Whether you prefer wine, beer, or something a little stronger, we’ve got the perfect drinking puns to tickle your funny bone.

So, raise a glass (or a mug, or a bottle) and let’s get this party started with some hilarious and totally relatable drinking humor!

Best Drinking Puns and Jokes The Ultimate Guide to Spirited Humor

• I tried to make a joke about beer, but it wasn’t very hoppy.
• Why did the wine go to therapy? It had too many bottled-up emotions.
• My friend thinks he’s a whiskey connoisseur, but I think he’s just a little dram-atic.
• What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry. Because it’s always in its cups!
• I told my glass of water a joke, but it just didn’t get it. It was too transparent.
• I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I drink it.
• I went to a bar where all the drinks were free, turns out there was a catch.
• I asked the bartender for a drink that would make me forget. He gave me a water.
• I’ve been trying to cut back on drinking, but my glasses keep getting refilled automatically. It’s a real problem.
• A bartender walks into a bar. The bar is now full.
• The bartender said, “We don’t serve time travelers.” A time traveler walks into the bar.
• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything… especially at the bar.
• My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So, I poured myself a second glass of wine.
• My doctor told me to cut back on drinking so now I only drink at the bar.
• I’m not an alcoholic, I’m just thirsty for adventure… and maybe a pint.

Alcoholic Beverage Puns: A Toast to Humor

Alcoholic beverage puns, a delightful subgenre of drinking humor, offer a bubbly blend of wordplay and wit. From “wine not” to “hoppy” endings, these jokes provide a lighthearted way to enjoy a good drink. They’re perfect for breaking the ice or adding a little fizz to any social gathering. Cheers…

• I’m on a new diet where I only eat foods that have been touched by alcohol, so far it’s mostly just olives and cherries.
• My therapist told me to stop bottling up my emotions, so I ordered a round of shots for everyone.
• I tried to write a song about a brewery, but it was a little too… ferment-al for the charts.
• This new craft beer is so good, it’s a real hop-portunity for a good time.
• I told my wife I’d be home after one scotch. Technically, I’m still at home, just in a different state of relaxation, a very smooth state.
• A bottle of wine walks into a bar and says, “Is this the place for a good time? I’m feeling a little bottled up.”
• I’m not saying I have a drinking problem, but my liver is now accepting friend requests.
• I went to a bar that only served drinks in tiny birdbaths. It was a very refreshing experience.
• I tried to make a non-alcoholic cocktail, but it was just a very sad glass of juice, a real spirit-less endeavor.
• My date said I was a bit too much, so I ordered a light beer to balance things out.
• I asked the bartender for a drink that would make me feel like a pirate, he gave me a rum and said, “Arrr you ready for a bit of a swig?”
• This new tequila is so smooth, it could probably talk a cactus into giving up its prickly exterior, and maybe sharing a lime.
• I tried to make a beer-flavored perfume, but it just smelled like a very enthusiastic tailgate party.
• My friend said he was on a ‘whiskey-business’ trip, I think he just moved to the nearest pub with a great selection of single malts.
• This gin is so botanical, it’s practically a walking, talking garden, but in a glass, with a lot more juniper and a very good story.

Brew-tiful Jokes: Exploring the World of Beer Puns

Ready for a hoppy good time? “Brew-tiful Jokes” dives deep into the frothy world of beer puns, a perfect addition to any collection of drinking jokes. From “ale”ing puns to witty lager lines, this exploration promises a barrel of laughs. So, grab your favorite beverage and prepare for some seriously…

• This new beer is so hoppy, it’s practically jumping for joy, and a little bit over enthusiastic.
• My friend tried to open a brewery with a library theme, but it was always over-booked, and under-hopped.
• I’m not saying I have a beer problem, but my fridge is now a microbrewery, and I’m the head brewer, and the head taster, and the head of quality control, and also the head of marketing, and also the head of drinking it.
• Why did the beer get a bad grade in school? It was always under pressure, and a little too flat.
• I tried to write a song about beer, but I kept having trouble with the malts, and the hops, and the yeast, and then I just decided to drink a beer.
• This ale is definitely my main squeeze, and my favorite way to spend a Friday night.
• My new beer is so local, it’s practically my neighbor, and probably knows my dog’s name.
• I’m having a pitcher perfect day, thanks to this craft brew, and a little bit of sunshine, and a few good friends.
• Why did the beer get a standing ovation? It always knew how to raise the hops, and the spirits, of course.
• My love for beer is un-beer-lievable, it’s a passion that bubbles from the heart and straight to the glass, and sometimes to my shirt.
• I tried to make a beer-flavored perfume, but it just smelled like a very enthusiastic tailgate party, and a little like hops.
• I’m on a new diet, it’s called ‘beer and contemplation’, I’ve already lost a few hours, and a few pounds, and a few brain cells.
• My friend said he was on a beer cleanse, I think he just switched to drinking it from a smaller glass, a real mini-brew cleanse.
• I tried to make a beer-flavored candle, but it just smelled like a missed opportunity, and a little like a brewery.
• My friend’s new beer is so bitter, it’s a real *ale*-ing experience, and not for the faint of heart.

Wine Not Laugh: The Finest Selection of Wine Puns

Looking for a good time? “Wine Not Laugh” uncorks a treasure trove of hilarious wine puns. Forget dry humor; this collection is grape-tastic! It’s the perfect pairing for any wine lover who enjoys a good chuckle. Dive in for some corking good jokes and let the laughter flow like a…

• I’m not sure what’s more full-bodied, this Cabernet or my ability to make questionable life choices.
• This Pinot Noir is so smooth, it’s like a velvet hug from a very sophisticated grape.
• My attempt at a wine-infused dessert was a complete grape-fall.
• I asked the sommelier for a wine that would make me feel like a king, he handed me a bottle of Merlot and said, “Here’s to your reign, or at least the evening.”
• Why did the wine go to the party? Because it heard it was going to be a *pour*-some event.
• I’m on a new diet, it’s called ‘wine and dine’, so far it’s going pretty well, just a lot of wine and a few bites here and there.
• This Sauvignon Blanc is so crisp, it’s like a refreshing dip in a vineyard pool, but in a glass.
• My date said my jokes were a bit vine-gary, so I ordered a glass of sweet Riesling to balance things out.
• This new rosé is so pretty, it’s like a sunset in a glass, a very convenient and delicious sunset.
• I tried to write a love song about wine, but it was a little too… fermented for the radio.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner vintner, so I ordered a flight of red wines, it was a very complex decision, and a very full-bodied one.
• Why did the wine get a standing ovation? Because it always knew how to make a grand entrance and a smooth exit, especially after a few good sips.
• I’m not saying I’m addicted to wine, but my fridge is now a vineyard, and I’m the head harvester.
• My friend said he was on a wine cleanse, I think he just switched to drinking it from a bigger glass.
• This new Malbec is so bold, it’s practically a superhero in a glass, ready to save the day with a single sip, and a very well-timed toast.

Spirit-ed Puns: Getting High on Jokes About Liquor

Ever felt a buzz from a well-crafted joke? “Spirit-ed Puns” dives into the heady world of liquor-themed humor, exploring puns that are intoxicatingly clever. From whiskey wisecracks to gin-fueled giggles, this corner of “Drinking Puns and Jokes” proves that sometimes the best spirits are those that lift your mood, not…

• I tried to make a non-alcoholic cocktail, but it was just a sad mock-tail of its former self.
• This new scotch is so smoky, it’s like a dragon’s breath, but in a good way, a very flavorful dragon.
• I told my friend I was going to a wine tasting, he said, “That sounds like a very grape experience.”
• My attempt at making a beer-infused dessert was a total brew-haha, a real baking blunder.
• This margarita is so refreshing, it’s like a tiny vacation to a citrus paradise, but in a glass, a very convenient escape.
• Why did the vodka go to the library? It heard the books were full of spirit, and a lot of clear perspectives.
• I went to a bar that only served drinks with a side of existential questions. It was a very thought-provoking experience.
• This new ale is so smooth, it’s practically a liquid velvet painting, a real drinkable masterpiece.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner bartender, so I ordered a complex cocktail, it was a very layered decision, with a splash of bitters.
• I’m not saying I have a tequila problem, but my dreams are now narrated by a mariachi band, and they’re always playing “Tequila.”
• I tried to write a song about my favorite stout, but it was a little too… dark for the charts, and mostly a series of deep, smooth notes.
• This new wine is so bold, it’s practically a superhero in a glass, ready to save the day with a single sip, and a very well-timed toast, and a very good vintage.
• Why did the rum go to the party? It heard it was going to be a spirited event, with a lot of depth, and a lot of laughs.
• I’m not sure what’s more intoxicating, this gin or my sudden urge to start a botanical garden in my apartment.
• I told my wife I’d be home after one beer; technically I’m still “at home,” just in a different location of the house, with a really good view of the fridge.

Coffee Puns: Brewing Up a Storm of Laughter

Ready to perk up your day? Dive into the delightful world of coffee puns! They’re a fantastic blend of wordplay and caffeine culture, a perfect example of how drinking jokes can be both silly and satisfying. From “latte” laughs to “espresso” your feelings, these puns are sure to brew up…

• I’m not sure if I have a coffee problem, but I do have a dedicated cabinet just for mugs, it’s a very caffeinated commitment.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner barista, so I made myself a latte, it was a very layered decision.
• This coffee is so strong, it could probably solve world peace, or at least a very complex crossword puzzle.
• I tried to write a song about coffee, but it was a little too…grounded for the radio, and mostly just a series of smooth sips and a few groans.
• Why was the coffee so good at giving advice? It always had a way of perking things up, and bringing a strong dose of clarity.
• I asked the barista for a drink with some intrigue, she gave me a black coffee and said, “Here’s a mystery that will keep you up all night, and maybe a few more.”
• This coffee is so smooth, it’s like a jazz solo in a mug, a very soulful experience.
• I’m on a new diet, it’s called ‘coffee and contemplation’, I’ve already lost track of the hours, and a few brain cells.
• My friend said he was on a coffee cleanse, so we went to a café, he said he needed to cleanse his palate with a double espresso.
• This new blend is so bold, it’s practically a superhero in a cup, ready to save the day with a single sip.
• I’m not saying I have a coffee problem, but my dreams are now narrated by a caffeine-fueled squirrel.
• Why did the coffee go to school? It wanted to be a little more cultured, and maybe a little more grounded.
• I tried to make a coffee-flavored candle, but it just smelled like a very enthusiastic morning, and a little like burnt toast.
• My love for coffee is un-filtered.
• I told my coffee it was looking a little pale, it said it needed a tan, or maybe just a little more cream and sugar, and a good book to contemplate its existence.

Tea-riffic Jokes: Steeped in Pun-tastic Humor

Dive into a world where every sip is a chuckle with “Tea-riffic Jokes”! This collection is brimming with delightful puns and humor, perfectly steeped for fans of all things tea. From Earl Grey giggles to chamomile chuckles, it’s a brew of laughter that’s sure to leave you feeling tea-lighted. Get…

• I tried to make a tea-flavored candle, but it just smelled like a very lukewarm afternoon.
• This Earl Grey is so sophisticated, it should be wearing a monocle and sipping from a tiny teacup.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner calm, so I brewed a pot of chamomile.
• Why was the tea so bad at telling secrets? It always spilled the beans… or leaves.
• I’m not sure what’s more steeped, this tea or my desire to avoid all my responsibilities.
• I went to a tea party with a clock, it was a very *time-tea* affair.
• This green tea is so vibrant, it’s practically a liquid garden in a cup.
• My friend said he was on a tea cleanse, I think he just switched to drinking it in a fancy porcelain mug.
• I tried to write a song about tea, but it was a little too… *steep* for the charts.
• This chai is so warm, it’s like a hug from a very spicy friend.
• I’m not saying I have a tea problem, but my cupboard is starting to look like a tea plantation.
• Why did the tea get a promotion? Because it was always raising the *steep*-stakes.
• I asked my tea if it wanted to go for a walk, it said, “I’m good right here, just steeping.”
• This herbal tea is so calming, it’s practically a liquid lullaby for stressed-out adults.
• My attempt at making a tea-infused dessert was a total crum-ble.

Mocktail Puns: The Sober Side of Funny Drinks

Tired of the same old drinking jokes? Dive into the sober side with mocktail puns! These clever quips offer a refreshing twist, proving that humor doesn’t need alcohol. From “lime-ing” the spotlight to “berry” funny situations, mocktail puns are a delightfully dry way to get your giggle on.

• This non-alcoholic margarita is so good, it’s like a fiesta without the siesta.
• I tried to make a mocktail with kale, but it was a little too… leafy for the party.
• My sober friend said he was on a juice cleanse, I think he just went to the farmers market.
• This sparkling cider is so crisp, it’s like a perfectly pixelated apple, a real digital delight.
• I asked the bartender for a drink that was a real conversation starter, he gave me a glass of sparkling water and said, “Discuss.”
• This virgin mojito is so refreshing, it’s like a tiny vacation in a glass, a real getaway without the layover.
• I’m not saying I have a problem with mocktails, but my fridge is starting to look like a juice bar.
• This non-alcoholic sangria is so fruity, it’s like a garden party in a glass, a real botanical bash.
• I attempted to make a mocktail with beet juice, it was a little too… rooted for my taste.
• This virgin daiquiri is so smooth, it’s like a tropical breeze, a real island getaway without the sunburn.
• I tried to make a mocktail with cucumber, it was a little too… cool for the party.
• Why was the non-alcoholic drink so good at charades? It was always in the spirit of the game, but without the spirits.
• This virgin piña colada is so creamy, it’s like a tropical hug, a real coconut cuddle.
• I asked the bartender for a drink that would make me feel like a superhero, he gave me a green smoothie and said, “Go forth and conquer your to-do list.”
• My favorite part of the job is the constant pouring of my heart, and the non-alcoholic beverages.

Hydration Humor: Water and Juice Puns That Quench Your Thirst

Ready to dive into some liquid laughs? “Hydration Humor” is your go-to for water and juice puns that are sure to quench your thirst for a good giggle. From “water” you waiting for to “orange” you glad we’re here, this collection of drinking puns and jokes will keep you hydrated…

• I’m on a water diet. It’s going swimmingly.
• This juice is unbe-leaf-ably good.
• Having a serious relationship with my water bottle. Things are getting quite fluid.
• Why did the orange juice break up with the apple juice? They couldn’t concentrate.
• I tried to make a joke about distilled water, but it was too clear.
• My friend said he was on a juice cleanse, I think he just went to the fruit stand.
• This sparkling water is so bubbly, it’s practically a socialite.
• I’m not sure what’s more transparent, my intentions or this glass of water.
• Why was the water so bad at telling jokes? It was too dry.
• I told my water bottle a secret, but it just kept it bottled up.
• This coconut water is making me feel a little nutty.
• I like my water like I like my jokes: crystal clear.
• Why did the grape juice go to the gym? It wanted to get more mus-cull.
• I’m on a new liquid diet, it’s called “see-water and drink-it”.
• This lemon water is my main squeeze.